Love, Lies, Pain & Protection
by aslycsi1315
Summary: The NCIS team is called in by the FBI to help identify the eighth victim of a string of brutal assaults across the United States.The team searches for their victim through the streets of Los Angeles, not knowing that the victim is actually Deeks, who will do anything to keep his brutal assault a secret from the team.
1. Chapter 1

**The Sofitel Hotel- Los Angeles**

_"When things get really hard for us, sometimes it's best that we keep the pain a secret to protect the ones around us."_

Marty Deeks remembers the day his mother had told him those words. It was the evening that he had shot his father. His mother, Isabelle, had pulled the young boy into her arms, ran a hand over his long hair, and whispered those words into his ear as they sat in the Los Angeles Police Department.

After Gordon Brandell had been sent to prison, Isabelle had told her son to tell no one, not his teachers, his aunts or uncles, or friends, of what had happened. Isabelle Brandell carried the pain of the abuse around with her for years until the stress had finally killed her. It left Deeks angry and confused over on why Isabelle would choose such a painful way to deal with her abusive past.

Now 20 years later, Deeks fully understands why his mother did what she did.

He stands in the lap pool room at the Sofitel hotel on an early Monday morning. He's alone, standing at the very edge of the pool ready to do his morning swim. The LAPD detective takes a breath, stretches his arms above his head, and then dives into the pool head first. He surfaces quickly and starts freestyle swimming towards the other end of the pool, turning his head left and right as he goes along. Deeks makes it only a quarter of the way across the pool before he stops abruptly.

His PTSD is kicking in.

Two months ago, Detective Marty Deeks had been put through the worst 27 hours of his life. He had been doing a simple op as a favor to LAPD when he was kidnapped and assaulted brutally. His attack resulted in PTSD induced panic attacks, nightmares, and uncontrollable emotions. Or as like now, a flashback.

"No…..no, no, no- not right now," Deeks exclaims. He begins to paddle to the edge of the pool as quickly as he can. When he reaches the edge, he puts his hands on the pool walkway just as a memory from his assault flashes across his mind.

* * *

"_Take the pain, detective!" _

_Deeks' head is pulled back and he begins convulsing from the electricity being shot through his body. He's lying on a gritty warehouse floor, blinded, naked, and bloody from whippings and the other unthinkable torture his body's been put through. The detective can hear the laughter from at least seven- no, eight men that surround him. _

_One of his assailants leans in close, his alcohol infested order making Deeks want to vomit. The man spits in his ear, "Scream all you want- no one can hear you."_

* * *

"Ahhh…." Deeks yells out as he puts a hand to his forehead. "Stop it, stop it, stop it- you aren't there right now-"

_**Ring!**_

Deeks hears his cell phone rings from his gym bag sitting near the door. It's his alarm, warning that he needs to get ready for work. The detective has no choice- he climbs out of pool and begins to get ready for work, while ignoring the dark memories the best he can.

**OPS Center**

Deeks walks into the bullpen and places his briefcase and go bag on his desk. There's no greeting, no nods- no acknowledgement of his arrival from his teammates, Sam Hanna, G Callen and Kensi Blye. Deeks' PTSD has destroyed his relationships with his teammates- the detective's irritability, random angry outbursts, lack of sleep, and unwillingness to talk has turned him into the one person that no one wants to work. And with Deeks following his mother's advice, none of the three agents know that the LAPD liaison that they've grown to hate is a victim of a brutal, unsolved assault. Deeks is ok with that because in his mind, it's better that his teammates hate him and not know of the pain he's struggling through.

As he sits down at his desk, Deeks takes a second to glance over to his partner, Kensi Blye. She doesn't notice him as she's writing down notes from an old case file. When she finally does notices that he's staring at her, she looks him in the eye for a second, shakes her head in disbelief, and then returns her focus back to the paperwork. Her anger towards him hurts the most- before the attack , Kensi and Deeks had their thing- a beautiful, sexual unresolved tension that defined their relationship. Their last conversation, on the morning of the attack, had ended badly.

* * *

"_I wanted to talk to you about something personal," Deeks states as they stand on the terrace. He's in a crisp Armani suit, courtesy of Hetty. Kensi is donning a long black Vera Wang dress, also courtesy of their operations manager, and looks beyond stunning to the detective. _

"_What's up?" Kensi asks with a smile. Deeks takes a minute to admire her before chuckling, "Ok- well, um, this sounded a whole lot better in my head."_

"_What's going on, Deeks?"_

_Deeks is speechless and decides to do the only thing he can to express what he wants to say- he pulls Kensi close and kisses her. The kiss lasts a minute before Kensi abruptly pulls away. Panicking, Kensi whispers, "We can't-"_

"_What- why?"_

"_I just ...we can't, Deeks! It's against the rules and I just….I'm so sorry, Marty."_

* * *

There was nothing said after the fact; that very night, Deeks had been brutally attacked.

Deeks snaps out of his daze at the sight of team leader walking past his desk. He's carrying at FBI case file in hand.

"What's that?" Deeks calls out in a hoarse voice.

Callen looks up at Deeks with a raised eyebrow. Within days after the attack, Callen had tried and tried to figure out what was wrong with Deeks. His patience had ran out when during a sparring lesson, Deeks had broken his nose without an explanation. Like the rest of his teammates, Callen had no idea that the detective's behavior was unintentional.

"Why do you care?" Callen snaps as he sits down.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you seem so uninterested in anything that we do around here," Callen mutters. Sam, who's sitting at his desk cuts off the leader and says, " G, don't even bother. Don't waste your breath."

Deeks flinches when a memory of his suddenly flashes across his mind.

"_Please don't do this," Deeks whispers as he sees the red hot branding iron in the hand of an assailant. _

"_You have no say in this, Martin. Don't waste your breath."_

The memory triggers an angry outburst- " What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Deeks roars with his entire body shaking. Before Sam can reply, Eric whistles for the entire team to assemble in OPS. Sam and Callen shoot a glare at Deeks before walking towards the stairs behind Kensi. Deeks stays behind for a moment and tries to shake off the anger and fear running through his veins. Callen suddenly yells, "Deeks, let's go!"

The detective sighs and slowly makes his way to the operations room.

There's work to be done.

"The FBI is calling this team to assist in a case that's considered to be out of our jurisdiction," Hetty tells the team when the entire team has made it to the operations room. "Across the country, there have been eight distinct attacks against seven known individuals- a police officer in Hawaii, a lawyer in Mississippi, two DHS workers in Nevada, an assistant district attorney in Illinois, an retired postal worker in Texas, and corrections official from San Francisco. "

"That's only seven people, " Sam says, " Who's the eighth?"

"We aren't sure yet, but we do know the attack was in the Los Angeles area about 2 months ago. Anyway, they were all kidnapped, tortured in horrific ways- all within 27 hours."

_27 hours? Kidnapping? Torture? That sounds like me! _Deeks feels like all the air has been sucked out of his lungs. He doesn't know whether to run, scream, or collapse from the fear and panic running through his veins.

He's the eighth victim and his team doesn't know it.


	2. Chapter 2

The detective feels like he's about to pass out.

_Get a hold of yourself, _Deeks tells himself. He leans forward and places his hands on the desk to steady himself. At this point, the man's legs feel like jelly that's seconds away from giving out. To get his mind off of how he physically feels, Deeks focuses his attention on Kensi, who had just said, "That's weird."

"What's weird?" Deeks tries to say, but it comes out so quiet that no one on the team hears him. Frustrated, Deeks tries again, this time asking much louder, "What's weird?"

Five pairs of eyes quickly shoot the detective annoyed glares.

"Where you paying attention at - you know what? I already know the answer to that," Kensi grumbles, " The other attacks happened at different points within the last six years, but the last attack was about two months ago. I was saying how weird it was that we have a time frame, but no victim name. "

Sam jumps into the conversation. "Guys, how do we know that this is even real? What does the FBI have that makes them think there was an actual attack here in Los Angeles?"

"Excellent question, Mr. Hanna," Hetty replies, "Ms. Jones?"

Nell runs a blue stylus across her tablet towards the wall display where an audio file appears. "LAPD's Mission Community Police Station received an anonymous 911 call reporting an unconscious male being tossed out of a moving vehicle onto to the side of the road. The caller was never found, but ambulances for Olive View- UCLA Medical Center were dispatched to the scene. That's all that we have."

"Don't forget the pictures that the FBI sent- five of them to be exact," Callen states with his annoyance clearly heard in his tone. "Five photos- one with a shattered cellphone, three pictures of shattered glass and tire treads, and an empty wallet in a patch of grass."

"So that's it?" Kensi exclaims, "Five photos and an anonymous 911 call? What about any evidence taken from the victim?"

"The FBI spoke to medical personal at Olive View and they said that the victim's clothes, blood work, and pictures documenting the injuries were taken," Eric states, "Problem is that due to new medical rules and regulations, the victim requested that the evidence be logged in as anonymous until they say otherwise and there's nothing we can do about it."

"So we're looking for a victim who doesn't want to be found," Callen says softly while crossing his arms. There's a silence that passes through the room as the two analyst and three agents take in the information regarding the case. In the meanwhile, the detective is bent over, pretending to tie his shoes. His eyes are closed as he's battling another memory- the emergency room at Olive View after being left to die on the side of the road.

* * *

"_It's ok, it's ok," a brunette nurse whispers in Deeks' ear as the detective squirms on the bed. She squeezes his hand and shoos him. "Shhhh, I know you're in pain. Don't cry."_

_Deeks only lets out a whimper in response. The two doctors are working on the burns on his arms while another doctor is working on both of the small wounds on his chest. He tries to think of a good memory in his life, but the only thing that pops in his brain his Kensi, who had turned him down romantically the day before. _

"_It's ok, sir. You'll be ok- although it'd be good if we had a name for you other than John Doe," the nurse jokes lightly. Her tactic doesn't work- Deeks cries out when one of the doctors begins addressing another one of his wound. By now, he doesn't want to stay conscious anymore- all he wants to do is close his eyes and sleep._

* * *

"Why are we doing this instead of LAPD?" Sam grunts, which pulls Deeks out of the memory. In the midst of his attempt to steady his erratic breathing, Deeks can hear that the aggravation in Sam's voice is directed directly towards him.

"Because, Mr. Hanna," Hetty replies, "Lieutenant Bates of the LAPD requested that this case be passed onto us. He called the Director, who approved the case transfer and the joint operation that we will be doing with the FBI."

Deeks' eyes widens when Hetty mentions Lieutenant Bates. On the day of the assault, Bates had requested that Deeks step in for a sick cop for a simple surveillance operation in Northern Los Angeles. When Deeks didn't check in a few hours after starting the operations, Bates had chosen against alerting NCIS and instead decided to cover up for the detective's disappearance.

* * *

"_I don't want that little ninja coming after me because I got her little detective hurt," Bates snaps while walking around the edge of Deeks' hospital bed. "I have commendations coming in from the mayor and I don't plan on losing that over some cop thinks he's a fed. I lied and told your team that this 'op' is still going on and that you'll be gone for a month and a half- that'll give you plenty of time to recover. You say a word about this and I'll make your life a living hell. Capisce?"_

_In his bed, Deeks blinked twice before groggily mumbling, "Capisce."_

* * *

That was the last time Deeks had made contact with Bates. He had been released from the hospital within four weeks and took another week to make sure that everything regarding the assault had been put to rest for the time being. By the time he returned to work, Deeks' injuries- four broken ribs, wounds on his arms, legs, and chest that required forty stitches, the two 1st degree burns on his thigh from a chemical and the four burns on his skin from electrical shock- had barely healed, but were easily concealed with long sleeves and jackets.

"So what next?" Kensi asks which once more pulls the detective out of his flashback. Callen sighs and bites his lip as he quickly tries to think of a game plan. The lead agent's eyes flicker between the case file on the table next to him and the screen.

"Ok, here's what we'll do," Callen finally says, "Eric and Nell will review every camera within ten miles of Sylmar on that day, Sam and I will see if we can get anything from the medical staff at Olive View, and Kensi will go speak with the agents at the FBI LA field office to see what they know." The team immediately splits into groups, leaving Deeks at the table.

"Hey, Callen, what do I do?" Deeks calls out before the team leader walks out the door. Callen stops and lets out a huff of air. "Look at the other victim's case files, see if you can find anything- don't screw this up."


	3. Chapter 3

The detective doesn't know where to start.

He's sitting in conference room A in front of four boxes stacked in twos on the table. Each of the boxes contains copies of the case files for each of the known assaults. Deeks sits with his hand hovering back and forth between both stack of boxes as he tries to decide which stack to start with. He knows that he's scared- scared to see what the other victims went through, scared that a team member will suddenly march through the conference door with the knowledge of the assault, and even scared that working this case will cause him to crash emotionally.

_Don't think about what you're doing- just do it, _Deeks tells himself before pulling the lid off of a blue and white box that stacked to the right of him. He peers into the box and sees two bulging manila folders, one with the Chicago Police Department logo on front labeled** Case #2748, Marissa Hope, Illinois ** and the other with the logo for the San Francisco Police Department and a label **Case #3947, Bundae Abimbola, California. **

As Deeks carefully takes the bulging folders out of the box, the detective is suddenly curious to what his case file will look like once the team and the FBI finds out that he's the eighth victim. _Will it be as full as the files for the other victims? Besides the evidence taken at the hospital, what else will go in here- follow up interviews? More photos? Witness testimony?_

Deeks winces at the thought of himself going through the process that the dozens of victims that he had helped in his life time had gone through. The thought of the painful, sometimes humiliating process of telling a complete stranger of the worst day of one's life frightens the detective immensely, especially when applied to telling family.

Deeks glances down to the files in front of him and thinks back to the first few hours at Olive View- UCLA Medical Center when doctors and nursing staff had tried to get him to go through the processes.

* * *

"_Doctor Caden, he's refusing to give a name," Deeks can hear coming from his hospital room door. He's laying perfectly still, hovering in and out of consciousness in the Intensive Care Unit. The detective is currently under high attention because of his injuries and for what the medical staff are calling him- John Doe. _

"_Has he said anything at all?" the doctor demands, his voice full with anxiety, " Any request for family members to be called? Anything?"_

"_Well….." the nurse stammers, " John Doe keeps to not call the police and that he doesn't want an investigation. Plus-"_

"_Plus what?"_

_The detective feels himself loosing consciousness again and the last thing he hears before passing out is the nurse saying, " He keeps repeating- Tell Kensi that I'm so sorry."_

* * *

"Focus," Deeks says a loud when he drifts back to the present. He can't afford to think about Kensi right now- no, the rejection and the torture of seeing her every morning, knowing well that he can't have her is something that the detective _can't_ think of right now. Deeks opens the Illinois case file and begins to quickly read over the incident report.

"Ok," he mutters under his breath, " Assistant district attorney from Chicago….kidnapped from her car in a parking garage and then found on the front lawn of her neighbor's home 27 ½ hours later." He decides to take a quick glance at the victim hospital photos of the victim Marisa Hope. In the first picture he finds, the woman is sitting upright in bed with a swollen eye, her arm in a cast, and large cuts all over her face, chest, and arms. He can only stare at the photo no more than a few seconds before feeling sick to his stomach.

_Try the other file. _Deeks reaches over the table and pulls the San Francisco file close to him. The first thing Deeks sees when he opens the file is a victim hospital photo that shakes the detective to his core. Victim Bundae Abimbola, an immigrant from Namibia corrections officer from San Francisco, takes the biggest toll on the detective. The sight of the man's left arm being covered in 3rd degree burns makes Deeks bolt to the closest trashcan and vomit.

An hour later, Deeks is sitting next to the trashcan in the conference room. He feels completely numb and empty from vomiting and from looking through the two case files. A small part of him is panicking over the fact that the more he digs into the case, the further he's going to get to the traumatic stuff that he doesn't want to deal with.

Deeks is about to get up to go and grab a water bottle when he hears the door knob to the conference room turn. He quickly gets to his feet just as Kensi walks into the room and crosses her arms.

"Did you find anything?" she asks impatiently. Her mood lightens when she sees her pale partner staring nervously back at her. " Deeks, what's wrong?"

"Nothing- forget about it." Deeks glances over to the boxes and files on the desk. " I didn't find anything yet-"

Kensi's annoyance returns to the tone in her voice. "Deeks, you've been in here for an hour. How did you not find anything?"

"Well…..I just haven't yet. Did you or the rest of the team find anything?"

Kensi cocks her head slightly. She opens her mouth, closes it, and then finally says, "Yeah, Callen and Sam got a little bit of information about the last victim from Olive View- the victim is blonde and refused police involvement. We might be looking for someone who had committed a crime or may be an ex-con. Eric and Nell are still digging through Sylmar's CCTV cameras."

Deeks quickly takes relief that _an ex or current cop_ didn't come up as options from Kensi. "Well, I think I should get back to work on these files," Deeks states, hoping that it will get Kensi to leave. He sits down, taking a quick second to turn his head away from Kensi and lick his dry lips.

"Fine." Kensi turns away, but stops at the doorway. Deeks, who's reopening a file on the table, can feel that his partner has looked over her shoulder at him. He can't tell if it's the look of disappointment that his teammates had been giving him for months or if it's the look of a loved one wondering, _Why is he acting weirder than normal all of a sudden? _


	4. Chapter 4

**3 am**

_Drip. Drip._

_Drip. Drip._

Deeks can hear the quiet patter of water droplets hitting the shower basin. He's sitting on the tile floor of his bathroom, sitting with his legs criss-cross in front of him and his head resting against the shower door. In the detective's right hand, there's a beer that Deeks knows well in advance that he isn't going to drink. As Deeks continues to listen to the water droplets, he quickly thinks back to the past six hours after his conversation with Kensi.

Hetty had sent everyone home within two hours of the partners' meeting. Unexpectedly, Deeks had taken notice of an odd behavior from the operations manager. When he had returned from the conference room to the bullpen, Deeks could feel a watchful, suspicious eye coming from Hetty.

At this moment, Deeks isn't sure whether she is beginning to suspect him to be the victim, thinking of the best way to fire him or if it's a worry from someone who may already know about his assault.

Later that night, Deeks had quickly returned back to his apartment to complete the nightly ritual he had developed since the assault- feed Monty, grab a beer, sit and think, toss the beer, fall asleep at a random time, wake up hours later screaming, go to work.

Now that he's fed Monty and grabbed a beer, Deeks knows that it's time for him to think. _Does Hetty know?_ _ How would she- am I kidding myself? This is Hetty that we're talking about. _

He places the beer on the rug in front of him and sighs in disgust. He so badly wants to drink a beer - hell, a scotch- to help him deal with the trauma, but he can't. Detective Marty Deeks can't have a beer or a scotch- anything to do with alcohol, really- as it reminds him of one of his assailants, the most destructive assailant, who stunk highly of beer.

"Damn it," Deeks mutters disappointedly. No beer tonight- he reaches over and grabs the beer before dropping it into the waste basket next to him. Nodding his head in disappointment, Deeks leans his head back against the bathroom wall and closes his eyes. In seconds, his head falls forward and the detective is asleep, lost in another memory from the assault.

* * *

_The alcohol drenched assailant slowly laps around the chair that Deeks is tied to. It's been 22 hours since the detective was kidnapped – 22 hours of hell for the detective with no end in sight. Deeks is alone in the room with the assailant, who Deeks has nicknamed Mr. Liquor. _

"_I'm surprised you haven't begged for death yet, detective," the detective's assailant chuckles as he wipes off the bloody screwdriver in his hand with a white cloth, " I thought you- the whiney little cop that no one gives a damn about would have called it quits within the first thirty seconds."_

_Deeks spits out blood onto the pavement in response, which earns him a smack across the face. The assailant known as Mr. Liquor leans forward and says, " I do wonder what the team would think of you right now. The brunette you run around with probably thinks you to be nothing more than a whiney child. If you saw the pathetic look on your face after she turned you down-"_

* * *

"Kensi!" Deeks calls out as he jolts awake. Panting heavily, he looks around the bathroom to make sure that he's actually awake and not in another nightmare. The detective spots Monty, sitting with a wagging tail at the doorway. Deeks holds out a hand and Monty immediately comes forward, taking a spot next to his master on the tile floor.

_How did he know about Kensi and me if it had happened two hours before I was kidnapped?_ Deeks ponders while rubbing his fingers behind Monty's left ear. Two minutes of silence pass before a sickening realization hits him. The detective wants to kick himself for not realizing it much, much sooner.

"They were following me," Deeks gasps, " I wasn't chosen at random-"

_**Ring!**_

Deeks nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound of his cell phone ringing from the bathroom sink. He reaches up with an arm and grabs it before dully answering, "Deeks."

"It's Eric- you're needed back at OPS. There was a break in the case so try to be here as quickly as you can."

"I'm on my way," the detective replies before hanging up. He pauses and tries to come up with a reason why the team would be called in for their case at three in the morning.

_If it was about a new attack, Eric would have said something about it. _

_If the team found out that I'm the victim, they'd be on my doorstep right now demanding answers. _

Deeks pulls himself to his feet and sighs once more. _There's only one option left- new evidence. _

**OPS Center**

"So what's with the cryptic 3 am call?" Sam asks in a loud yawn. The ex- SEAL is leaning against the operations table with a cup of tea in hand. Next to him, Callen takes a sip of coffee, looking his usual alert self. A sweatpants and oversized sweater wearing Kensi is sitting next to a barely conscious Nell, who's donning red heart pajamas. On any other day, the redhead intelligence would be dodging teasing jokes from Kensi, Sam, and Callen about her unique sleepwear.

"Dallas PD just called LAPD, who transferred their call over to us," Eric states, " The third victim, who was attacked in downtown Dallas last year just received a cryptic knock on the door and a package with strands of red hair and a note saying _Never forget. _"

"Was the victim a redhead?" Callen asks after another quick sip of coffee. Eric nods and adds, "He's not the only one- three other victims received the same weird messages with items that was taken from them the day of the attack. "

"So these assailants have upgraded to taunting," Sam concludes. Deeks, who's standing in the back corner of the room, tries to keep his breathing steady. He quickly starts to debate whether he should bring up the topic of stalking without tying things back to himself.

"And we have no idea about the last victim," Callen mutters in annoyance. He turns his attention over to the quiet operations manager and asks, " You want us to relook at the case files again, don't you?"

"Actually, no," Hetty replies. She walks to the front of the room to face the team. In the meanwhile, Deeks is still running the debate through his head, quickly remembering that his credibility with the team is shot .

"I want you all to profile these assailants," Hetty says to the listening members of the group. "I want you to focus on really understanding who these monsters are. You three will essentially become these men and see what their move is likely to be. Now that two federal agencies are involved in this case, there's a big magnifying glass on us so be careful, quick, and effecient."

"Ok." Callen motions over to the doorway for Kensi and Sam to follow him. The other two agents follow, leaving the two analyst, Deeks, and Hetty in the room. Hetty's eyes travel over to where Deeks stands and she says, " Miss Jones, Mr. Beale, may we have the room?"

"Oh- of course, Hetty," Nell replies. She tugs on Eric's arm and pulls the very sleepy techie out of the room. It takes Deeks a minute to realize that he's alone in the room with the operations manager and that she's staring at him again.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asks.

"I think the victims were stalked," Deeks stammers. He straightens up and adds, "That's how the assailants were able to find out where they lived."

"I was thinking the exact same thing. Anything else?"

Deeks feels his face turn red as he becomes light headed. Another panic attack is coming and it's coming fast. " No, that's it. I don't- I don't really feel so well so I'm just going to go outside and get some fresh air."

He doesn't wait for a response and sprints out of the operations room. The detective is walking out of the OPS center with minutes and out into the cool Los Angeles air. There are so many things whirling around his head at the moment- _Seriously, does Hetty know? Am I going to be taunted by my attackers as well?_

The latter of the two questions is answered when Deeks approaches his car that's parked two blocks away. On the windshield, there's a large manila folder with his name in big block red letters on the front of it.

Deeks swallows hard, cursing to himself- _Crap. _


	5. Chapter 5

"_Mamma, can I ask you a question?"_

_Isabelle Brandell looks up from her magazine to see 11 year old Marty in front of her next to the small kitchen table. The 11 year old brushes away a few blonde strands of hair from his forehead and continues to earnestly stare at his mother. _

"_Sure, sweetie. What is it?" Isabelle leans forward, pushing the feelings of depression and anxiety to the back of her mind. It's been six months since Gordon went to jail and for Isabelle and Marty, life has been hard. The only thing that has been pushing the single mother is her son._

"_Well, Micah at school said that his mom saw you crying at the park. Also, my teacher asked me if everything was ok because you look sad all the time. Why can't I say that it's because of what Dad did?"_

_Isabelle cups her hand on her son's cheek. "Remember, Marty, we want to protect the people we love from knowing how scary and hurtful it was."_

"_But it's making you really sad and sick! And plus Ray knows and he's still my best friend," Marty protests. Isabelle musters up a smile before pulling her son into a hug. Marty rests his chin on his mother's shoulder and asks, "What's going to happen when people find out about Dad? What are you going to do?"_

_Isabelle closes her eyes and whispers, "I don't know." _

When Deeks drifts back to reality, the first thing he notices is that his cheeks are wet.

He wipes the tears from his eyes, taking the memory of his mother's frail appearance hard. Deeks remembers how scared Isabelle had sounded at the prospect of other people knowing of the abuse from Gordon Brandell. It's the exact same fear pumping through his veins right now at the sight of the envelope. He knows that it means that it's getting closer and closer to his secret coming out- whether through the team finding out on their own or one of his assailants somehow revealing it to them.

Deeks reaches out and takes the envelope from the windshield anxiously. The envelope is lighter than he had expected- it feels light enough to carry a small case and a sheet of paper inside. The red block letters that spell out his name are written in permanent marker in chunky, uppercase letters. There is nothing else that draws the attention of the detective.

_Open it,_ is the first thought that comes to his mind. He's so scared to, mostly because he's so afraid to see what could be inside. Deeks begins to picture the most gruesome things possible being in the envelope, which in seconds, forces him to sprint to the nearest trash can and vomit. When he's done dry heaving, Deeks walks back to his car and slides down against the car door to the ground.

"I can't do it," Deeks whispers out loud. It's the truth- there isn't an ounce of strength in his body that can get him to open the envelope. He places the envelope on the ground directly in front of him where it can't leave his sight. "I can't."

_I can't stay here,_ Deeks thinks as he sits on the pavement, _ I have to go back to the OPS center. They'll notice that you left- well, at least Hetty will. Get up. _

Deeks winces as he pulls himself up to his feet. He notices that his hand is shaking more than it ever has before. Deeks holds his shaking hand close to his chest and takes in two shaky breaths. With everything he has, Deeks slowly starts his walk down the empty sidewalk back to OPS center with the envelope in hand, completely unaware of the pair of eyes watching him from the blue Honda parked down the street.

Back at the OPS center; Callen, Sam, and Kensi are sitting around the conference desk across from their desks. There's a white poster sheet spread across the table where the three agents have been taking notes on the MO of the first seven assaults.

"So we have bruising consistent with blunt force trauma- I'm thinking some kind of rod or metal pole," Sam observes from a hospital photo from one of the victims. He drops the photograph onto the table and places his hands behind his head. "With all the bruising injuries on each of the victims' bodies, this has to be a group with some serious random anger."

Kensi writes down Sam's statement and says, "That's true, but why would they travel all over the country to pick victims at random?"

"There's got to be something that connects these people," Callen says in frustration, "That's the only reason for them to travel around the country. I mean- what made them come to Los Angeles and chose a victim here?"

"I think for the most recent victim we need to focus on who he is first before we figure out why," Sam replies. He looks up just in time to see a shell shocked Deeks walk into the OPS center. The detective stops in his tracks at the sight of the team and stares wide eyed at them, mainly at Kensi.

"Deeks?" Kensi calls out. Her partner continues to only stand frozen like a statue. Sam and Callen exchange confused looks before the lead agent speaks up, " Deeks!"

"Huh?" Deeks blinks nervously and drops his gaze down to the ground. To the three agents, Deeks' behavior is more unusual than the already unusual behavior as of late.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Callen comments.

"Don't worry about me," Deeks mumbles.

"But-"

"I said don't worry about me!" Deeks catches himself and quickly apologizes, "I'm sorry. Did you find anything?"

There's a pause between the three agents as it's the first time Deeks has apologized after an outburst in two months. Kensi speaks up first, asking, "Are you sure you're ok?"

Deeks coughs and scratches his head. He doesn't know how to explain that he isn't even close to being ok. Instead, he looks around for a reason to change the subject. When he can see that Kensi's thinking of a follow up question, Deeks decides it best to walk away.

"I have to go," he mumbles before walking towards the gym. On the way, he passes Hetty, who gives him once more a curious look. It makes Deeks feel worse- he picks up his pace and quickly finds himself in the barely lit gym. Deeks tries to find a spot for him to sit and choses the sparring mats piled up in the corner. He sits down against the wall and begins to quietly sob.

"Mr. Deeks?"

It's Hetty, who has suddenly appeared in the middle of the gym. Her sudden appearance makes Deeks nearly jump out of his skin. As she approaches, Deeks wipes his eyes and croaks, "You already know that I'm the victim, don't you?"

Hetty nods and enlaces her fingers together. There's sadness in her eyes that the detective has only seen on one occasion- Lauren Hunter's death. Deeks rest his chin on a hand before he whispers, "How long have you known?"

"I've always had a concern during these last two months that something had hurt you, broken you, but I could never figure out exactly what it was," Hetty states.

"You know everything, Hetty-"

"Mr. Deeks, contrary to popular belief, I don't always know everything. Out of all the many individuals that I've met over my lifetime, you're one of the most unique. Before this attack," Hetty sits down next to Deeks, "You always wore a smile on your face, whether on a good day or a bad day. And in that, you've mastered a way to hide your true emotions even from the best of us."

"Mastering?" Deeks scoffs, "I don't think pushing everyone away and having panic attacks is what I'd like to call mastering my emotions."

"But putting up an emotional wall that the rest of us can't always see around is," Hetty places a hand on Deeks' shoulder and the detective flinches. Physical contact is something that he hasn't had over the past few months. Hetty catches the flinch and removes her hand immediately. With a sad sigh, she says, " I'm so sorry that you went through all of this pain, but I have to ask- why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I couldn't," Deeks whispers, " The fact that you know is killing me, Hetty. I had to keep it a secret- I just had to."

"Ok." Hetty doesn't understand at all, but she decides to save her questions for another time. " Why don't you head home and sleep? I'll have two agents sit outside your apartment to make sure everything is alright."

Deeks snorts and leans his head against the wall. "I don't sleep, Hetty. My catnaps make Callen's look like child's play."

"Then go and rest your body. I assume that you've been running on fumes for two months- you need as much rest as you can get. After you get a few hours, we can talk about everything then. But in the meantime-"

"You want the evidence released from the hospital."

"And the envelope in your hand. I assume that your assailants left you a message just like the others."

"Yes," Deeks hands over the envelope with a shaking hand. He quickly thinks back to the team sitting in the bullpen. "What about the team? Hetty, I can't tell them- I just can't." Tears form in Deeks' eyes at the thought of anyone else knowing the pain he went through.

"Leave that to me," Hetty states. Deeks hesitantly stands up and brushes the dust from the mat off of his jeans. Hetty can see the extreme hesitancy in his eyes as he walks into the bullpen area and past his teammates. Completely aware that his teammates are watching him, Deeks quickly packs up his stuff and heads out the front door. From the gym entrance, Hetty gives Agent James and Agent Chlems, who she has already assigned to watch Deeks, the nod to follow the detective home.

As her detective walks away, Hetty takes the manila envelope in hand. She's already planning her next moves- examining the envelope and telling the team. Hetty knows that telling the team of any matter where one of their own is involved in something case related is an incredibly delicate matter. Out of all the members of the team, Hetty knows that telling Kensi that her partner is the victim will be the hardest.

"Bugger," Hetty curses when she realizes that she can't think of a right way to do this. To break news like this requires someone with experience. Hetty pulls out her cellphone and dials one of the few numbers she keeps in her phone. The phone rings three times before a very sleepy voice on the other end of the line answers, "Hello?"

"Mr. Getz, I'm sorry for the early morning call, but I need you here at the OPS center right away."

Nate yawns and asks, "There's no way it can wait until later on this morning? I just got back to Los Angeles, Hetty."

"I'm sorry, but no, it can't." Hetty takes a few steps to the right where she can get a better view of the team. Callen and Sam are both getting more coffee from the machine behind their desks and Kensi is munching quietly away on a donut. Eric and Nell are sitting on the stairwell, sharing granola bars and Arcadia coffee. The operations manager feels guilt as she's about deliver heartbreaking news to a group of individuals she cares very much for. "There's something I need to tell the team and I'm going to need your help to do so."


	6. Chapter 6

_It's time. _

Nate stands in the operations room alone behind the main table. He's staring at the large white evidence box that had just arrived from Olive View- UCLA Medical Center. Right after leaving the OPS center, Deeks had given the Evidence Release Form to one of the agents that Hetty had sent to protect him. The box had arrived half an hour later and Nate had been staring at the box ever since. Even though he doesn't know Deeks like the rest of the team, he knows the detective enough to feel sick to his stomach at the thought of what could be inside the box.

Nate rubs the bridge of his nose. The exhaustion from flying only hours earlier from Rome for a meeting is beginning to take a toll on him. It isn't the only thing- after receiving the box from the agent; Nate received a phone call from Deeks alerting him that before going home to rest, he would go back to the Sofitel hotel pool with the agents to swim a few laps. Nate knows that swimming can be therapeutic for some and safe, but something about a severely traumatized detective going swimming at the same time as the team finding out about the assault doesn't feel 100% right to Nate.

_The earlier you tell the team about the assault, the faster you get to end all the tension and get Deeks the help he needs. _Nate walks out of the operations room and stops at the top of the stairwell in the bullpen. Below him; Kensi, Sam, and Callen are working at their desks on the psychological profile of the assailants. At first, Nate doesn't see Nell or Eric, but soon sees them walk out of the conference room on the second floor. Nell hands Eric her small blue tablet before looking up and seeing Nate.

"Nate, oh my God- when did you get here?" she exclaims in excitement. Her voice catches the three agents' attention from the bullpen- Sam looks up and grins at the psychologist while Kensi and Callen call out, " Hey, Nate!"

Nate scratches the back of his head and sighs. There isn't an ounce of energy to even say hello in him. Nell quickly notices the tired, hardened stare on Nate's face and asks nervously, "Everything ok?"

"I need you guys in the operations room," Nate states darkly. Eric raises an eyebrow at his friend's behavior, saying, "Not even a hello- did something happen?"

"Just – just go, please," Nate pleads. He turns back to the bullpen where Callen, Sam, and Kensi all now standing, "I need you guys up here ASAP. It's an emergency, of sorts."

The word _emergency _gets an immediate response from the three agents. Sam and Callen briskly walk up the stairs, neither saying a word. Callen has his game face on and Sam is mentally prepping himself for whatever the 'emergency of sorts' could be. Kensi reacts a little quicker, taking two steps at a time as she climbs the stairs. As usual, Hetty appears out of nowhere at Nate's side, giving the psychologist an encouraging nod before walking into the operations room. The nod doesn't do much of anything- in ways, it makes Nate more nervous.

Once everyone is the room, Callen notices the evidence box on the table. He immediately recognizes the small blue logo that he had seen on the Olive View- UCLA Medical Center hospital sign when he and Sam had attempted to get the 8th victim's evidence released the day before.

"You got the evidence released- nice job," the lead agent states, "But for the future, buddy, I wouldn't use the word emergency for a situation like this in the future." Callen waits to hear a chuckle from Nate, but only sees the same, hardened stare Nell had observed earlier. "Wait- how exactly did you get the evidence?" Callen adds.

Nate ignores Callen's question and turns to Sam. The Navy SEAL is looking at the box as if he's expecting something illegal either in the box or associated to how Nate got the box. The psychologist ignores Sam's suspicious look and asks, "Do you have a pocketknife that I could use?"

"Um, yeah." Sam pulls out his Navy pocketknife that he always carries in his back pocket. He hands it over to Nate and watches the psychologist cut the tape that was sealing the evidence box shut. Nate takes off the box cover and peers inside, seeing five evidence bags.

"Nate, what is this abou-"

Nate doesn't register who had asked the question. He says quickly, "I know who your eighth victim is. It's…..um…the victim's name is Detective Marty Deeks."

* * *

**Sofitel Hotel**

Deeks slides into the pool and turns to grab onto the edge. In the corner of his eye, he can see his two protection agents standing cross armed at the pool room entrance. Besides the request for the evidence release forms and the simple question of why he wanted to go swimming is the only communication Deeks has had with the two agents. Deeks can see grim looks on each man's face and realizes that he'd have the expression if he was watching a victim who randomly decided to go for a quick swim.

Deeks brings his feet to his chest and pushes off from the wall. He twists his body to where he's on his stomach and begins freestyle swimming across the pool. It makes him feel a touch less antsy than he had felt walking out of the OPS center- in his mind, it's much better than he would have felt if he had listened to Hetty and gone straight home.

"_He's coding!" _

"_Get me a crash cart!"_

Deeks knows that he's having another flashback from the day he was taken to the hospital. He doesn't stop swimming this time because he doesn't want to. The detective doesn't want to stop and then have to go home to face his nightmares and the team.

"_Come on, stay with me! Stay with me! Dr. Caden, John Doe needs surgery right away or he'll die!"_

Deeks swims faster and harder- he quickly turns around when he reaches the other end of the pool before starting again back across the pool. He tries to change the subject in his mind, which quickly turns to the team. Deeks tries to picture Sam, Callen, Nell, and Eric's reactions and comes up blank- he doesn't know how they'd react- hell, he doesn't know how he'd react if he were in their position. Suddenly, his mind falls on Kensi and the thought of his partner finding out makes him swim even harder.

"_John Doe, you need to fight for us, ok? Everyone here at the hospital is cheering for you. Please, just fight- fight for the woman that you keep calling out for…..Kensi, I think it was. Fight for Kensi."_

The soft, warm voice of one of the nurse's that had taken care of him pops in his head and her comforting words hurts the detective. It also distracts him from his swimming- in the midst of swimming so hard, the detective forgets about the pool wall. It's the farthest thing from his mind when he accidently swims head first into the wall and loses consciousness.

* * *

**OPS Center**

For a minute, no one says anything.

Nate doesn't know whether it can be considered as a good thing or not- the blank, confused expressions on the three agents and two analysts' faces force him to call out, "Guys?"

"This is a really sick joke," Sam says. He nods his head in disbelief, "Deeks put you up to this, didn't he? This is just-"

"You think I'm joking?" Nate snaps, much louder than he had intended. He then softens his expression and pulls out the shirt in a bag. The shirt is almost completely stained in blood, from the collar to the hem of the shirt. Nate feels like he's going to vomit at the sight and is positive that the rest of the team is feeling the same way too.

"Is there anything about this shirt that stands out to you?" Nate asks, directing his question towards Kensi. He already knows the answer, but finds it best to have the team come to the same conclusions by themselves. Kensi eyes the shirt hesitantly before muttering, "Deeks has the exact same shirt. It's his favorite one."

"When was the last time he wore it?"

Kensi swallows and looks away from Nate for a second. When she returns her gaze, she states, "Two months ago, but the chance of this shirt and his shirt being the same is one in a million! There's no possible way that Deeks could have been the victim and us not know about it!"

"Check the shirt, Kensi," Nate replies quietly. He hands it over to her and takes note that Callen's eyes are flickering left to right as he is frantically running through ways that the news couldn't be true and Sam is staring at the evidence box, his eyes showing him teetering between confusion and fear of the news actually being true. For the two analysts, Eric is trying to run through every interaction he's had with Deeks in the last two months and Nell is at Kensi's side to see the shirt.

Kensi pulls the shirt out of the evidence bag and takes the sleeve in hand. What she sees makes her stomach drop: a large pink blob- the same one that Deeks had made a fuss about her putting there after borrowing the shirt- is on the inside of the shirt sleeve. In a panic, she moves over the collar of the shirt where Deeks had begged her to rip the tag off the collar after it had driven him nuts for two days and as she had hoped it wouldn't, the small hole in the collar was where it was expected to be.

"It can't…." Kensi gasps, "He can't…"

Nell touches her shoulder and whispers, "Kensi, it's his shirt….."

"Wait! Wait!" Eric suddenly exclaims. He spins around in his chair and starts frantically typing away at his computer. "Deeks was on a thing- a thing- an op, I mean, two months ago. I remember because Lieutenant Bates came into the boatshed to tell us and he scares me."

From his corner of the room, Nate called out, "Eric-"

"…..So if I pull up the ops paperwork, I can prove you to be wrong…"

"Eric…."

"….because Deeks would not have been-"Eric stops when Nell places a hand over his to get him to stop. Sam sadly looks at the two before looking back over to Nate. "There was no op, was there?"

Nate winces because he knows the next part is going to be the hardest. Hetty once more gives him an encouraging look to proceed which does him no good. Very reluctantly, Nate pulls out a white envelope from the box and pulls out a stack of photos from it. He places each photo down onto the table individually, each photo getting a gasp from each individual of the room. The photos are of Deeks in the hospital- in most pictures, he's hooked up to an IV, intubated, and covered in bandages.

"We don't know much about what happened- Hetty and I just found out," Nate states while the others stare in disbelief over the photos. The only one who isn't looking at the photos is Kens, who is standing perfectly still far from the table. She can't move, she can barely breathe, and feels as if her world is going to collapse. Nate prepares himself to talk to her, but is stopped when he feels the vibration of his phone in his pocket.

Nate quickly glances down to the screen to check who had called or texted. It's a short text message from one of the agents that is on protection detail for Deeks that reads _Detective received head injury swimming. On route to hospital. _

The psychologist doesn't get a second to process the message before he hears, "Is it something to do with Deeks?"

It's Callen and his voice shakes as he asks his question. Nate sees a shattered look in the lead agent's eyes, the same one that he can also see in the others'. The look makes Nate feel even worse when he states, "Yes. Deeks was supposed to go home and rest, but had asked to go swimming for therapeutic reasons…and while swimming, he slammed his head against the wall and lost consciousness in the pool. That's all I know."

The team's reaction is immediate- everyone rushes to the doorway, only to be stopped by Nate blocking off the entrance. "I can't let you go to the hospital yet," he pants.

"Is this to punish us?" Sam exclaims angrily.

"No, I would never do that! You all have been pissed off by Deeks' behavior for two months and now you find out that he's been hurting this whole time. That's a myriad of emotions that you all need to get under control before you go see him. You all can't help him if you're all dealing with guilt, anger and sadness all at the same time."

"No- hell no. We're going to see him right now," Callen states.

Nate stands his ground. "I'm not saying that you can't ever see him. Go home and process everything that I just told you. When Deeks wakes up in the hospital, I'll explain to him how this went and give him time to wrap his head around everyone knowing. If he's in the emotional state that I think he's in, everyone rushing in with hugs and questions is only going to freak him out. I promise you will see him at the latest, tomorrow morning."

Hetty, who had been quietly standing by the front screen the entire time, quickly observes her agents and analysts' faces. From the tears in Kensi's eyes to the more determined to catch the assailants than ever expressions on Sam's face, Hetty can see Nate's point. The team is in a state of shock over just the photos and the blood stained shirt. They still had no idea when and how this happened or even about the mysterious manila envelope in her desk that had her detective's name on it.

Yes, a time to cope was needed.


	7. Chapter 7

Each team member reacts differently to Nate's statement.

Kensi reacts first, bolting out of the operations room at first chance. She tries to sprint down the stairs, but trips on a stair and lands in a heap on the landing. Distraught, she pushes herself back onto her feet and continues down the main floor. There's only one thought going through her mind- _I shouldn't have pushed him away when he kissed me!_

Behind Kensi is Callen, who's quietly stepping down each stair very slowly. He's lost in his thoughts as he's doing the same thing as Eric had done earlier- run through every single word, every argument- every single moment essentially that he's had with Deeks within the last two months. Callen is so out of it that he doesn't see Kensi fall on the stairs, get up, and run out of the OPS center without stopping to grab her bag and keys. The lead agent isn't fully aware of his surroundings until he's standing in front of his desk staring at Deeks' desk.

At the top of the stairs, Sam watches Callen stare blankly at Deeks' desk. He knows that his partner is set in his _I will not stop _mode that he gets into whenever one of his own is hurt. Sam's feeling that exact same thing and would be back in the operation room with Callen digging through every minute detail of the case; however, there's somewhere he needs to go first. Sam wants to go home and kiss his wife, hold his kids, and try not to feel like hell for just a moment.

Sam heads to desk and grabs his half empty briefcase. There's no need to take any paperwork or his laptop home today- he wouldn't be able to concentrate on work even if he tried. Sam looks over to Callen and says, "G, let me drive you home-"

"How are you so calm?" Callen's tone is accusatory, but Sam doesn't mind it.

"I'm not- trust me, I'm not even close to being ok. All I know is that I'm going to go home to my family and then deal with my emotions or whatever so I can go see Deeks. All I'm thinking about right now is seeing Deeks…." Sam trails off because he's surprised as hell that in two short years, the annoying detective is now a brother. And his younger, annoying little brother needs him.

"Just let me take you home because I know that you'll never leave," Sam pleads. He lets out a sigh when Callen nods and grabs his bag from off of his desk. Both men start the walk towards the front door, completely aware that Nate is watching them from the second floor. The psychologist has been watching everyone from the second floor act as expected- Kensi being extremely upset, Sam not dealing with his guilt, and Callen becoming locked on doing nothing else but to find the detective's assailants.

_Wait, I'm missing two- _Nate quickly scans the room to look for the team's two analyst- _Where's Nell and Eric?_

* * *

In the kitchen across from the bullpen, Nell is standing against the kitchen island with her hands resting on the counter. Her hands shake every minute or so every time her minds drifts back to the hospital photos. Even though she's seen hundreds of crime scenes, Nell isn't taking seeing a close friend in such condition very well. She knows that Kensi, Callen, Deeks and Sam see each other get hurt every day when out of the OPS center- it makes her hate and love the fact that she has to stay in OPS all day and be shielded away from possibly seeing her co-worker being shot or nearly blown up.

"Hey."

Nell knows that it's Eric who has called her and doesn't respond. She hears his footsteps approach and stop behind her. The blonde haired analyst leans against the island and looks up to her sadly. Nell gives him a weak smile and whimpers, "Hey yourself."

Eric looks away and stares at a spot directly across from him. "Can you promise me something?" he asks, his voice cracking. Nell nods, her eyes filling with tears. She knows exactly what her 'partner-in-crime' is going to ask.

"If anything bad happens to you, promise me that you'll tell me."

Nell blinks, her mind once more being drawn back to the once always smiling and laughing detective. She's always wondered if the 'thing' that Kensi and Deeks have is the same between her and Eric.

"I just can't imagine what Kensi is going through right now," Eric continues to say, "The thought of you being in pain and me not knowing is just-"

"Eric, I want to say yes, but I can't. Before this attack, Deeks was open and probably promised Kensi the same thing. I can't say yes without knowing why Deeks shut us out."

"I understand…..Why would he hide this from us?" Eric asks faintly. Nell looks over to Eric again before reaching over and squeezing his hand.

"That's a good question," Nell replies. She rests her head on his shoulder. "A really good question."

* * *

Half an hour later and across town, Michelle Hanna hums along to the music from the kitchen stereo. She uses a spatula to push slices of green peppers and onions around the skillet in her hand. Her two daughters, Lissie and Ellie are sitting at the kitchen table, the eldest working on math homework and the youngest scribbling on a blue construction paper. Michelle is so lost in her humming that she doesn't hear her husband step into the kitchen.

"Hi, Daddy," Lissie squeaks, "You're home!"

Michelle turns around to see Sam lean over and kiss Lissie and Ellie on the forehead. Sam looks up to his wife, trying so hard to control the extreme guilt, sadness, and the incredible anger towards the detective's assailants that he's feeling all at the same time. He had been relatively in control from the moment Nate had told them about the attack until he dropped Callen off at his home. The emotions weren't triggered until Sam drove past the small shop where Deeks had been shot two years ago, which was the first time that Sam realized that he cared about his at- the- time teammate of six months.

Now Sam stands in front of his wife, the sounding board for his complaining about Deeks for the last two months. Michelle observes the look on Sam's face and calls out, "Baby-"

"We need to talk," Sam says seriously before walking into the hallway towards their bedroom. Michelle hesitates before turning off the stove and jogging off after her husband. She finds him sitting on their bed with his hands in his lap. She expects to hear that someone had died or once more about a case that was proving unsolvable that could put not only their family, but also Los Angeles in serious danger.

"Remember how I've been bitching about Deeks?" Sam asks quietly.

Michelle wants to relax at the sound of Deeks' name, but her husband's body language keeps on her on the defense. "Yeah. Did he do something today?"

"No, I just found out that Deeks was severely injured- he was almost beaten to death two months ago," Sam says, "His behavior wasn't because he was being an ass, it was because he was falling apart."

"Oh God."

Sam places his elbow on his thigh and covers his mouth. He shakes his head in disbelief, which prompts Michelle to sit down next to him on the bed. She can see that her husband is visibly shaken in ways she's only seen on a few occasions, the most recent being the death of team member Dom.

"What happened?" Michelle asks. Sam shakes his head and says, "What I told you is all we know. We don't know why this happened and why he didn't tell us. Michelle, this team is my family and my younger brother was hurt-is still hurt- and I not only didn't notice, but also gave up on him. What kind of man does that make me?"

"A man that made a mistake. Look at me," Michelle says; pulling her husband's chin towards her, "There could be a million different reasons for why he did this, which you could ask if you were at the hospital. Why aren't you there?"

"Nate blocked us from going today. He wants us to deal with our emotions while he tells Deeks in private that we know about the assault first. This is killing me."

"I know. So- here's what you're going to do- you are going to go into the kitchen, kiss and hold our little girls, eat a great family meal, and then spend the rest of the night telling me about Deeks. I've only met him a few times and from how crazy he used to drive you, he must be a great man. Got it?"

"Yes, ma am," Sam chuckles. Michelle suddenly leans in close and adds, "And Mr. Hanna, if something happens to you and you hide it from me, I will kill you, alright?"

Sam nods, thinking back to the moment that he knew that this woman was the love of his life. "Ok."

* * *

Callen lays on his sleeping mat in the living room of his house. He's on his stomach with his eyes closed, listening to the occasional car drive by every few minutes. A few inches in front of his face is his cellphone for when Nate calls for them to come to the hospital. It's been two hours since he left the OPS center and no phone call could mean that Nate was taking the _take the day to deal and I'll catch you up tomorrow_ deal very seriously or something bad had happened.

With his eyes closed, Callen tries to picture what Deeks went through. Deep down, he knows he shouldn't be picturing this- hell, with their luck, the detective had probably gone through much worse than what Callen could imagine. He can't _not_ think about the assault- every ounce of him wants to tear up Los Angeles looking for the men who destroyed the team's 'youngest' member.

Callen's phone suddenly vibrates and in less than a second, the agent answers his phone. His heart jumps when he answers, "Agent Callen."

"What the hell did Deeks tell you?"

"Lieutenant Bates?" It's the first times in months that Callen's spoken with Deeks' boss. Ever since the op to take down Fisk and a mole in the LAPD last year, contact with the LAPD has been minimal.

Taken back, Callen exclaims, "What are you talking about? His assault?"

Bates roars, "You damn right I am! I told him very specifically to keep me out of it-"

Callen sits up in disbelief. "You knew?"

"Of course I knew," Bates growls. "I called him to do a few hours of surveillance- it isn't my fault he got kidnapped!"

Callen suddenly feels the desire to shoot something. He wants to kick himself for believing that Deeks' boss could have had some form of shock, disbelief, or some form of empathy about the attack. "You handed the case over to us as if it were nothing. You haven't done a damn thing about this, have you?"

"I'm not wasting money on a cop who's barely at the LAPD. Tell Henrietta that the next time she decides to tell the mayor that I screwed up and get all of my commendations taken away from me!"

In that moment, something in Callen suddenly snaps. Without thinking and in the calmest voice he's ever used, Callen states simply, "He's done."

"Excuse me?"

"Deeks has been ours for two years now. I don't care if I have to force him to sign the NCIS application papers. Deeks is done with you and the LAPD."

"It's not your call-"

"Deeks could have died!" Callen yells. He pauses and collects himself. "He is done and I swear to God that if you come within five feet of Deeks, Hetty will not be the only person you need to be afraid of."

Callen doesn't wait for a response from Bates before ending the call. Out of anger, he whips his phone across the room to watch it land at the base of the fireplace. He rests his hands on his knees and realizes that his conclusion from earlier was becoming more and more likely to be true- Deeks went through much more hell than he had initially imagined.

* * *

At the Hollywood Castle in the northern part of the city, Kensi sits on the west balcony cross legged at the very same spot where Deeks had kissed her two months ago. She remembers being so scared once in the kiss of the possibilities that could happen after it. In Deeks' defense, he had every right to kiss her- they had done things that normal partners didn't do.

"_Kensi, it's four in the morning. Why are you here?" Deeks yawns when he sees his partner standing in her pajamas on his doorstep. She holds a pillow in one arm and the stuffed dog that he had won for her at the fair in Venice during Christmas. It's two weeks after they had finished their undercover operation as 'Melissa and Justin', which is making Deeks even more curious to his partner's visit. _

"_I'm finding myself unable to sleep without your annoyance next to me," Kensi states, "So we're going to sleep together."_

_Deeks gives a goofy grin and Kensi immediately realizes the mistake in her wording. "In the same bed, Deeks, and not for sex. You and your warped mind!"_

"_Hey, I'm not the one who wants sex."_

"_Don't be an idiot."_

It wasn't just sleepovers that they did. Watching basketball games, going surfers, going out for lunch- the two were spending almost 90% of their time together before the assault. Kensi and Deeks had spent Valentine's Day watching corny movies and eating chocolates, Christmas helping out the poor and laughing through Christmas films, and New Year's sitting on surfboards in the ocean to watch the fireworks together. In ways, it was like they were together, which made Deeks completely in his right to kiss her.

"God, I'm such an idiot," Kensi whimpers as tears flow down her face. She can't help but wonder what would happen if she had simply let him love her. _Would he be in the hospital? Would he be so broken? Would we have noticed his pain earlier?_

_If I hadn't been so scared and selfish, would any of this have happened?_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I apologize for the 11 day delay in posting. This chapter has been rewritten four times because I couldn't get it right. Enjoy!**

* * *

He's conscious.

The first thing that Deeks notices is that the room he's lying in is _really_ hot.

He doesn't know if it's because the room's thermostat is set on blazing hot or him having a fever that is making him feel like his body is a million degrees. When he moves his head ever so slightly to the right, Deeks concludes that the heat is coming from the bright, warm lights that are shining down on him. He opens his eyes for a second and then shuts them when his eyes burn at the lights.

_What happened? _Deeks groggily thinks. He tries to open his mouth to let out a groan, but there's something covering his mouth. In a panic, he raises a trembling hand to his mouth and feels a cool, plastic mask covering his mouth. He's so out of it that it takes him a minute to realize that he's been intubated and that there's a cold, plastic tube going down his throat.

_I'm intubated? Why would I be intubated? _Deeks' hand drops to the bed and he grabs a fist full of bed sheets in a panic. Deeks is one step away from pulling out the breathing tube and sprinting out of the hospital, but freezes when he hears,

"You're up- it's about time."

_Who the hell is talking to me? He sounds familiar….._

"Come on, Deeks. Open your eyes."

_Nate? _Deeks slowly opens one eye and winces once more at the bright white lights. His eye slowly adjusts and soon an outline of a figure comes into a view by his bed. Because of a headache that is quickly worsening, Deeks decides to close his eye again.

"Deeks, you have to keep your eyes open," Nate reminds the detective softly. Deeks reopens his eyes, scrunching his nose once more at the bright lights. He can now see Nate much clearer now; the psychologist tiredly smiles at Deeks, well aware that Deeks is confused, lost, and scared at his appearance.

"Do you remember what happened?" Nate asks gently. Deeks' eyes flicker around the room, stopping at the sight of his chest. For the first time in two months, Deeks is shirtless where all of the burns and scars are visible for everyone to see.

"Mmmhmm!" Deeks moans loudly and reaches again for the mask. Nate stops him by grabbing his arms and pushing them down against the bed. Deeks reacts by kicking his feet and twisting his body left and right in a panic.

"Marty, calm down! Calm down! It's ok- you're ok! Look at me!" Nate yells. Deeks freezes his body and with a gentle push from Nate, he slowly relaxes his body onto the bed. Nate releases his grip from Deeks' arms and takes a hesitant step back.

"You're in the hospital, ok? You were swimming at the Sofitel Hotel yesterday when you swam head first into one of the walls," Nate explains. He points to the large bandage on Deeks' forehead. "You have a concussion and you almost drowned. The intubation tube is because when they brought you in, you weren't breathing very well on your own. The lung injury you received during your assault was aggravated greatly when your protection agents did CPR on you at the pool. Your ribs, which haven't been healing correctly, were pushed down too hard and it punctured your right lung."

Deeks lifts his head as he tries to wrap his mind around one thing- _Nate knows…..which means everyone knows. _

"Yes, I know about the assault. Hetty called me in- I was already in Los Angeles, by the way- and had me tell the team." Nate's hands immediately go to a spot above Deeks' arms in case the detective goes into a panic. Instead, Deeks only stares back at Nate with a tear running down his cheek.

"Everyone knows and the only thing they're concerned about is catching those…those…assholes that hurt you. We have agents that'll be onsite for protection 24 hours a day so you can feel safe, ok?" Nate adds, hoping that it'll help put the detective at ease.

_Can you protect me from the nightmares? _Deeks wants to ask Nate. The idea of his assailants coming back to attack him is the last thing Deeks is worrying about; all he can think about is his team.

"The team is going to continue working with the FBI on catching these guys, which means you'll have to give a statement and go through all the basic processes that a victim of an assault goes through. In the meanwhile, you'll stay in the hospital until doctors completely clear you of all injuries, past and present."

Multiple things are running through Deeks' mind- _I don't want to be treated like a victim on the team. I don't want Sam or Callen or worse, Kensi having anything to do with my assault! They shouldn't even know- I shouldn't have told Hetty! _

"Are you holding up with everything that I'm telling you?" Nate asks. It takes Deeks a few minutes to pull himself together- when he's ready, he gives Nate a small nod. Remembering how antsy the team is as they wait in the conference room, Nate quickly glances over his shoulder before returning his attention to Deeks. "I know you're exhausted, buddy, but is there any way you can let the team visit? They're all dying to see you."

Frantically, Deeks shakes his head no. His breathing picks up, but it isn't fast enough for Nate to call it hyperventilating.

"How about just one person? It'll be quick- nothing bad will happen, I promise."

_I can't! They cannot see me like this! _Deeks feels his chest begin to burn from his breathing. Nate sees more tears forming in Deeks' eyes and decides that he's pushed the detective far enough.

"Ok- I'm sorry that I pushed. I'll go tell them and then I'll be right back, ok?" Nate states before walking towards the door. A thought suddenly occurs to him, causing him to stop at the doorway. Sadly, he turns around towards Deeks and says, "You don't want me to stay with you, do you?"

Deeks nods his head no and Nate sighs, thinking, _I'm going to take that as a no._

* * *

Nate steps into conference room 24c and takes a second to observe the group in front of him. At a long oak conference table; Nell, Eric, Sam, Michelle, Callen, Kensi, and Sam are sitting scattered around the table. The team has been in the conference room for an hour now, eagerly waiting to see the detective. Callen had called the team to meet much earlier than Nate had planned to call them in, but the psychologist couldn't hold it against him. If he were in their positions, _come in tomorrow_ could be taken as _come in as soon as you can after midnight._

Callen is sitting the closest to the door, swirling his finger around the edge of his now cold coffee cup. The lead agent has shadows around his eyes and is wearing the exact same clothes he had been wearing the day before. Nate concludes that by the blank, empty stare in Callen's eyes that he had spent the night in complete shock over news of the assault.

Sam is sitting two chairs away with his wife sitting behind him. Michelle keeps a hand on Sam's back while he leans forward, rubbing his hands out of ansiness. Nate can see that he's determined to see his friend today even if he's not 100% ready to face the complete hell behind the detective's assault. Like his partner, Sam looks as if he hadn't slept at all the night before.

The two analysts sit side by side opposite of Sam and Michelle. Eric is numbly tracing the outline of the tablet that sits in front of him with his finger. Every thirty seconds in a protective manner, Eric glances over to Nell, who's staring out the window. Nate can see that it's out of fear of the same thing happening to his partner in crime as what happened to Kensi's.

Kensi sits at the very end of the table in a loose black jacket that once belonged to Deeks. It's the jacket that Deeks continuously left at her apartment, despite her constant reminder not to. Today, Kensi's thankful that Deeks had left the jacket over at her apartment. The warm jacket that smells like Deeks was the only thing that helped Kensi get through the night.

"Morning guys," Nate greets. He pauses, expecting to hear some kind of sort of response from the team. Nell gives Nate a small, weak wave while the rest of the team nod in response.

"So I just spoke to Deeks and because of his emotional state, no one can see him today," Nate pauses again and expects protest, but hears silence instead. It's such a usual reaction that Nate contemplates doing a therapy session with the team before going any further.

"That's completely understandable. Since we won't be able to see Mr. Deeks today, I think you should inform the team of his injuries," Hetty suggests.

"Umm," Nate stammers and glances over to the evidence box on the table, "Yeah, let's do that."

Nate opens the box and begins to place the same photos of Deeks in the hospital onto the oak table. Expectedly, he can hear Michelle gasp in disbelief at the sight of the photos. When all eleven photos have been placed side by side on the table, Nate turns to face the group and inhales slowly.

"Deeks was brought in exactly two months ago when a mysterious 911 call into LAPD's Mission Community Police Station reported an unconscious man being left on the side of the road at 3:57 in the morning. Paramedics brought him and physicians found him to be covered in blood with multiple open and bloody wounds that gave him forty stitches, two 1st degree chemical burns and four electrical burns. And that's not counting the broken bones- four broken ribs, a now re-sprained arm and a sprained ankle. "

"Wait, wait, wait... a sprained ankle and wrist? 40 stitches? How did we not see any of this?" Eric exclaims in a hoarse voice.

Callen blinks before something clicks in his mind. He silently curses before looking to the team. "All of his injuries are on his arms, body, and legs- nothing above the neck. And plus- it's easier than you think to push through pain like an arm injury." _I should know- I've done it before. _

Nate decides to push forward and says, "His lungs are the injury that you will notice the most when you eventually do see him. When he was brought in two months ago, a lung had been pierced from one of his broken ribs. When the protection agents did CPR at the pool yesterday, they punctured a lung because of the pressure put on his barely healed ribs-"

"I'm gonna kick both of their assess," Sam comments. He shakes his head in disgust, "Both of those agents should have made sure that Deeks was swimming safely in the first place!"

"Mr. Hanna!" Hetty calls out. She lowers her voice and states, "Both agents will be dealt with accordingly-"

"I have to go," Kensi suddenly bursts out before bolting out of the conference room. She doesn't stop running, pushing past nurses, doctors, and patients until she finds herself on the front steps of the hospital. Kensi puts a hand to her mouth and begins to mutter, "I can't do this….I can't see him."

The brunette agent is so distraught that she doesn't notice that a blue Honda is sitting in the hospital parking lot, the same one that watched the detective take the envelope from his car the day before.

Back in the conference room, Nate and the group are deciding whether to go after Kensi.

"I can run after her!" Nell volunteers as she's halfway out of her seat. Hetty quickly solves the problem by closing the door left ajar by Kensi. She turns to the group and states simply, "Let Miss Blye have some space. The emotions that she's going through at the moment must be so overwhelming."

"Ok- so we can't see Deeks," Sam says, "What should we do?"

Hetty warmly smiles. "We fight for Mr. Deeks, of course. While we wait to see him, we will hunt for these assailants, making sure that there will not be a ninth victim and that they pay for what they did to Mr. Deeks. Mr. Callen, you and Mr. Hanna will go to Mr. Deeks' apartment to look for anything unusual and things that could help make his stay in the hospital more comfortable. Miss Jones and Mr. Beale will monitor every detail of the day Mr. Deeks was attacked. We will meet here in a few hours. Understood?"

"What about Kensi?" Nell asks.

"I'll talk to Kensi- I'm sure that she'll either be at OPS, Deeks' apartment, or at her own apartment," Nate says. "Good luck everyone."


	9. Chapter 9

Sam can't believe that he's standing in Deeks' apartment.

He's only been over to the detective's apartment on a few occasions, most being to pick up the always oversleeping Deeks from being late. Sam's seen only the living room on such occasions and found the detective to be not Navy SEALS clean, but clean and organized enough to Sam's approval. But now, Sam is standing a living room that's in perfect condition. The custom designed silver X-Box is missing, the TV is collecting dust, and there's a Sig P229 and a police baton on the living room table. Along with the TV, the couch, the portrait of dogs playing poker, and the window sills are also collecting dust.

"This doesn't look lived in," Callen comments from behind Sam. The lead agent is hovering over the living table, observing the nearly perfect pile of mail stacked on the table.

"I've seen SEALs come back from a tour and be just like this," Sam says. "My friend Charlie couldn't sleep in his own bed to the point where he had to sleep in his car. It was small and cramped just like the tanks that he had to spend his nights in on patrol."

"All signs of someone with post-traumatic stress disorder," Callen adds. He steps into the hallway where he can see the open bedroom door. The bedroom, from Callen's view, is just as un-lived in as the living room. "His bedroom isn't much better- where did he sleep…if he ever slept?"

Sam steps into the hallway and finds himself stopping at the bathroom. Monty is snuggled next to the toilet on the bathroom floor a few feet away from the shower. Sam can see a blanket and pillow on the shower floor. He closes his eyes and imagines the once goofy, always smiling detective crawling onto the shower floor under the small, raggedy blanket to try and get some sort of night's rest.

"Damn it….goddamn it!" Sam curses before marching out the front door. He makes it to the stairwell a few doors away from Deeks' apartment, plops down, and puts his head in his hands. Sam gets a few minutes to fume at himself for being able to recognize PTSD in soldiers he's never met on a daily basis, but not be able to recognize it in one of his closest friends.

"Sam?" Callen quietly sits down next to Sam at the top of the stairs. The lead agent looks over to see Sam anxiously rubbing his forehead, an act done when Sam's really angry at himself. "Before we had left the hospital, Nate hold pulled me aside to remind me that Deeks' is smart, resourceful, and can charm anyone. He purposely planned to hide this from us."

Not breaking the gaze from the street below them, Sam mutters, "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I told Nate the same thing."

"Hmph." Sam lifts his head from his hands and begins to rub his chin. "You know what the last good time I had with Deeks before the assault was?"

"No, tell me."

"It was after work one night- I think you and Kensi had left already for the night. I remember being completely shocked that Deeks was finishing up paperwork before heading home for the night," Sam chuckles at the memory of Deeks throwing his hands in the air, making the touchdown sign at finally finishing his paperwork.

"He had begun talking about how Kensi had conned him into going to an art class with she and Nell and how even though he tricked Kensi into thinking that he hated it, he realized how good he was and kept going back. Deeks suddenly pulled out a beautiful picture of what he thought my girls looked like."

Callen nods and looks down to his feet, feeling guilty. Sam's daughters knows him very well, but have never formally met Deeks face-to-face.

"I remember thinking _what would make him do such a thing? _He finally told me that it was just because he wanted to and the funny thing was that he was pretty close. G, he could have died not knowing my girls. When this is all over, he's going to meet them."

"Tell him that," Callen says. An idea suddenly pops in his head and he smiles, "Maybe you can get your girls to return the favor."

"You mean get them to try and draw their Uncle Marty?" Sam chuckles at the idea of his littlest one doing a portrait of the detective. "I like it- we can hang it up in the hospital. You could take pictures of the beach that he dragged you to last summer and post those too."

Callen grins and nods happily at the trip to Hallow Creek beach, ten miles south of San Diego. After the detective wined for three days straight, Callen had agreed to travel with Deeks to the very unknown beach for a surfing lesson. After two wrong turns leading the two to Baja California, a mistaken identity that almost landed in Callen's arrest, and a two hour over the phone argument with Kensi, Callen and Deeks had finally made it to the beach, arriving just before nightfall. The day ended in the two watching the waves and drinking beers on what Kensi later teased as a 'man-date.'

"I'll definitely take some pictures and ….maybe add a picture of us…get him a reminder of home," Callen trails off. He pauses before asking, "Sam, do you think that he'll come back from this?"

Sam snorts and turns his head to his partner. "Would you?"

**Leo Carillo State Park Beach, Malibu**

Kensi hugs her knees as she sits cross legged on the beach. She's barefoot and still wearing Deeks' jacket. There's a light rainfall covering the Malibu area and after twenty minutes of sitting on the beach, Kensi's shivering and soaked to the bone.

"Getting yourself sick isn't going to make what happened go away," Kensi suddenly hears. Nate suddenly appears by her side with an umbrella in hand. He pulls off his coat and places it around Kensi's shoulders. Nate holds the umbrella over Kensi's head and asks, "Kensi, what are you doing?"

"I'm sitting here thinking about how terrible of a person I am for missing the most important person in my life being in pain," Kensi says sadly, "None of your psycho mambo is going to make me feel any better."

"Well, I'm still going to try. My first question is this- are you in love with him?"

Kensi chuckles sadly and looks over at a small, gentle wave approaching the beach. "You know I didn't know the answer to the question until a few months ago, a few weeks before Deeks kissed me. I had a dream of me being on the beach, I think it's this beach in fact, and I'm standing barefoot at the shoreline on a beautiful, sunny day. I hear this child's laughter and I turn to see a blonde haired boy bouncing down the beach towards me yelling, _Mommy! Mommy!_ He runs into my arms and then I can see it- the spark in his eyes, the goofy smile, the infectious laughter."

"Who was the little boy?" Nate asks, well knowing the answer.

Kensi rubs her legs and says, "He was our son. And in the moment, I knew that Deeks and I were more than partners. I'm not even good with kids, but the little boy was so perfect- _so perfect_. Then the assault happened and he shut me out….god, I should have seen his behavior!"

"Kensi, you can't blame yourself for this," Nate says. He rubs his hand on Kensi's back. "No one saw this coming- _no one_. A damn good undercover detective chose to hide this from us for whatever reason that he wanted to. I don't know if it was to protect us, out of embarrassment or for some random other reason, but he purposely hid it from us. There's nothing we can do to change that- the best we can do is to be there for him."

"I can't see him in the hospital, Nate. The thought of him on a ventilator with all those bruises is sickening to me."

"Then help us work this case," Nate states. He looks Kensi straight in the eye so that he can truly get his point across to her. "Help us catch the bastards that hurt Deeks."

Kensi nods and sits up straight. "Ok. So where do we start?"

"First- let's get you some dry clothes and then let's head back to the hospital," Nate states. He helps Kensi stand up, hoping that he's gotten the brunette agent back into action.

**Olive View- UCLA Medical Center**

It's been three hours since Hetty dismissed the team.

Nell and Eric haven't left the conference room in hours, taking the three hour period to dig through every detail of the detective's day of the assault. And in those three hours, they had found nothing out of the ordinary for the morning and early afternoon. Sam and Callen haven't found anything either as they had spent the period pooling together a box full of some clothes and favorite movies for Deeks. They now sat with Michelle by a corner window and were going over the ways that Michelle could help on the case.

Nate walks into the conference room after taking Kensi home to change her clothes. He enters the room first and receives a quiet acknowledgment of his arrival from Sam, Michelle, and Callen. The trio returns their attention back to their conversation for a second before Kensi enters the room. Now donning a pink shirt and jeans, Kensi appears brighter than when she had left earlier. She can see smiles from Michelle, Eric, and Nell for her coming along with a cautious expression on both Sam and Callen's faces.

"I can help- I mean, I'm here to help," Kensi unexpectedly stammers. On the drive over, she had been certain that the nervous, blubbering Kensi on the beach was gone. _Guess I'm not as together as I thought I was._

"You sure, Kens?" Sam asks. He knows he's about to step into dangerous territory by what he's about to say next. "It isn't usually the best idea to work the case of someone that you're…you know-"

"In love with?" Kensi finishes for him. She sits down at the conference table across from Nell and Eric. "If you were in my position, what would you do?"

Sam lovingly smiles at his wife and replies, "I'd be doing the exact same thing."

Callen, as reluctant as he is to let Kensi work, says, "Ok, but the moment things get dark on this case; I have to kick you off."

"Understood. So have we learned anything?"

"First off, I feel very dirty digging into Deeks' past like this," Eric says uncomfortably. He wiggles his green pencil and adds, "I don't dig up information on my friends, I do it for criminals, guys."

"Think of doing it to help Deeks, not hurt him," Nell tells him. She brushes a strand a hair from her face and says, "We found nothing out of the ordinary for that morning or when he went out for lunch. We haven't been able to get very far in the say since Eric and I are leaving no stone unturned."

"That afternoon, Deeks and I left together and went to the Hollywood Hotel for dinner. He kissed me at around 7:30 and out of a panic, I ran off," Kensi states. "That's the last I saw of him. Wait, didn't Bates claim that Deeks went on a op for a month?"

"Yeah," Callen replies, "That was a lie to cover his ass while Deeks laid in the hospital. Nell, check Deeks' phone log from that night."

Nell nods and pulls up a long list of Deeks' phone records. "He received a phone call from Bates around 9:00. Give me an hour or so and I can try to find out where Deeks went after that. He told him once that he doesn't take his own car on LAPD ops so if he really did go on an op that night, I have to get the license plates from Bates first."

"And when you're done, tell LAPD to bring every file for every case that Deeks has worked on and to come get his badge," Callen says. He fully understands when every team member looks at him in confusion. "I told Bates that Deeks is done with them."

"Did you at least punch him in the face?" Sam jokes.

Callen smirks and retorts, "Trust me, it's still an option. So until Nell gets the footage from the CCTV, we're stuck. And that's if she can find him- we've lost people on CCTV before."

"What we need is a witness statement," Sam states. He kisses his teeth at the thought of Bates. "And I'm assuming Bates didn't take one while Deeks was in the hospital."

Callen turns around to suddenly see Hetty standing at the conference room door. There's a grim look in her eyes that makes Callen's stomach turn inside out.

"Mr. Callen, a word?" Hetty asks. Callen hesitantly looks over to Sam for support and receives a hesitant shrug from his partner. Callen slowly starts walking towards Hetty, holding his breath with each step that something bad hasn't happened to Deeks. Once both are outside the conference room, Hetty pulls out the manila envelope with Deeks' name on it and hands it over to Callen. The lead agent eyes it confusedly and asks, "What is it?"

"Mr. Deeks found this on the windshield of his car yesterday. It can be assumed that it came from his attackers in a form of a taunt. While we wait for Ms. Jones' work with the CCTV camera, I want you and you alone to take a look at the contents of this envelope."

"You're scaring me, Hetty," Callen says before peering into the envelope. What he sees puts him into such a state of shock that Hetty has to touch his arm to get him out of it. Callen swallows hard and with the pen in his back pocket, he lifts a lock of bloody, blond hair tied together by a rubber band from the envelope. He can see skin tags at the end of the lock of hair and immediately realizes that it came from Deeks.

"Those bastards rip out a chunk of his hair and then send it back to him?!" Callen whispers loudly.

Hetty nods and points to the envelope, saying, "There's another item in there."

"Ok." Callen reaches in the envelope and pulls out a DVD case. Through the clear case, Callen can see that the DVD is titled, _Part 1._

Hetty sighs exhaustedly. "I believe that our assailants sent Mr. Deeks a video of his assault."


	10. Chapter 10

Sitting on a stretcher in the basement of the hospital, Callen stares at the laptop on his lap that holds the DVD sent to Deeks.

Callen's finger is hovering above the play button on the keyboard. Every few seconds, Callen unconsciously glances left and right before returning his attention back to the button. He doesn't get why he's being sitting there for fifteen minutes, unable to push a small, simple button.

_You can't come back from this, _Callen tells himself, _whatever they did to Deeks is on this tape and once you see it, it can't be unseen. _Callen pulls back his hand for a few seconds and thinks back to the pictures of the battered ex- detective. He knows that if Deeks was in his position, Deeks would have pushed pass all of his emotions and watch the tape to help his friend. With that in mind, Callen inhales deeply and finally presses the play button.

_Two months ago_

_A lone Cadillac XTS sits parked at the edge of cliff overlooking a forest. Far in the distance, there's a perfect view of the Los Angeles skyline sparkling in the night sky. Deeks sits in the front seat of the Cadillac and snaps pictures of a cabin at the bottom of the cliff, home to a suspicious drug dealer being investigated by LAPD. The LAPD detective is sitting in for a sick surveillance cop out of a favor to Bates._

_Deeks places the photography camera on the passenger seat and reaches for his phone. It's been three hours since he had kissed Kensi- three hours filled worrying and waiting about the state of his partnership with Kensi. He's distracted as hell- so distracted that he doesn't notice the dark figure standing a few yards away._

_It's the cameraman, who's recording the video. He has a video camera taped to a helmet on his head. He takes a swig of liquor from a beer bottle and tosses it to the side. He smirks and begins a confident strut up to the side of the Cadillac._

_The cameraman raises a crowbar and smashes it against the driver's window, recording Deeks' reaction- the detective yelling and covering his face as glass shatters around him. Deeks attempts to reach out and grab his gun from the passenger seat. He doesn't get to as he is put into a headlock and pulled out of the driver's window. Deeks lands onto the grass where he can see that his one attacker has now become a group of men, all masked with crowbars in hand. A crowbar suddenly comes down towards him and the detective rolls to the side, barely dodging the bar coming down into the grass._

_Deeks rolls onto his stomach and lunges forward into the closest man. With a quick jab to the throat, the man is disarmed and slammed into the side of the Cadillac. Deeks doesn't get any time to plan his next move- he feels a crowbar slam into his rib cage, breaking two ribs on his right. He's kicked in the back of the knees where he falls on all fours. Another masked man grabs Deeks' hair while another crowbar is slammed against Deeks' rib and breaks two more ribs. Deeks feels the air leaves his lung before the same crowbar is slammed into his head, knocking him unconscious. _

"_Son of a bitch tried to put a fight!" One man laughs at the sight of Deeks' form. Clearly drunk, he staggers backwards and off screen while taking a swig of his beer. The cameraman turns the camera back to three men kneeling over Deeks. _

_One of the men kneeling turns to the other and asks, "He put up 'hell of a fight. Watcha you wanna do to him for it?"_

"_I think we'll think of something good," another man answers, jabbing his partner in the ribs. _

_The next and final shot of the video is of the tallest member of the group, a man that could be ex-military. The tall, masked man steps close to the lens, gives a toothy grin, and then turns around and spits on the ground next to Deeks' crumpled form. He chuckles, " See you soon, Marty," before the video ends. _

Present Day

When the video ends, Callen sits staring at the blank screen in shock. What he saw was rough enough and the fact that it was just the beginning of the 27 hour torture period made him feel worse. Like earlier, Callen just can't make himself do the next step. It's so hard for Callen that he has to picture Deeks in his position again for him to finally move into action. He takes a few minutes to scribble down a few notes from the video- the make of the car Deeks drove, the number of assailants in the video which he assumes to be at least 10, and the best sketch of the Los Angeles skyline he saw. It's familiar, but Callen can't seem to put his finger on it.

With the video information and brutal images ingrained in his mind, Callen closes his laptop and quickly begins to make his way back to the conference.

* * *

Four floors up in the conference room, Sam quietly watches Nell and Eric type away at their computers. In the corner of his eye, he can see Michelle walking back and forth while on the phone with CIA contacts in the cities where the other victims had been assaulted. Sam can also see Kensi munching on a donut while peering through victim #6's files. He feels sadness for the young junior agent for all the emotions that she could be possibly going through at the moment.

_If Michelle did something like that, I don't know what I'd do, _Sam thinks. He looks over to Michelle in time to see her standing with a hand on her hip and a raised eyebrow. It's her no nonsense look, which is followed by her saying, "Don't look at me like that, Sam. I'm not going anywhere."

Kensi looks up at Michelle's statement, completely aware that both were referring to the situation between her and Deeks. Michelle places an empathetic hand on Kensi's shoulder. "We're just worried about you, Kensi. Are you ok?"

"As I'll ever be," Kensi replies. Hoping that the conversation is over, Kensi looks down to the file just as she hears, "You sure?"

"No, but I have to keep working. Don't worry about me," Kensi lies. She can't help but lie- pretending that her world isn't falling apart is the best thing she can do. Sam exchanges a look with Michelle and they both agree that because of Kensi's behavior, it's best not to push the conversation any further. At the same time, Callen slowly walks in the room and past Kensi, looking completely shell shocked.

"G?" Sam calls out. It catches everyone's attention and all eyes fall on the lead agent. Callen's blue eyes flicker at different points around the room as he tries to find the words to say. "I have an idea of where they attacked him," he finally says, "They were on a cliff of some sort- I could see the LA skyline."

"Wait- how do you know this?" Sam asks. He doesn't like how much information his partner has suddenly come up with during his ten minute absence from the conference room.

"I just know, alright?" Callen unintentionally snaps. He shakes it off and walks over to Nell and Eric,

"I need you both to look for a black Cadillac XTS with the license plate C-T-4-5-K-6-V. It's a LAPD issued vehicle. Find where it went starting from the time Deeks left the LAPD central office with it 30 minutes after his phone call with Bates. "

"Sorry to ask again, but how do you know this?" Eric asks, sneaking a hesitant look at the lead agent hovering over his shoulders.

"Again, I just do. Sam, you come with me," Callen orders. He isn't surprised when Sam doesn't comply and shoots him his trademark _you must be out your damn mind_ , Callen shakes his head in disbelief and turns around to walk out of the room. Oddly, he finds Hetty and Owen Granger standing at the doorway, the assistant director looking more than pissed off compared to Hetty.

"What are you doing here?" Callen spits at Grange. He catches himself and takes a step back in disbelief at this behavior. Hetty nods at Callen as if she agrees that the always composed Agent G Callen is losing complete control of his emotions. Granger smirks at an aghast Callen and walks to the conference table where Sam, Kensi, and the two analysts are sitting. He drops a Los Angeles Times newspaper on the conference and exclaims, " What the hell is this?"

Kensi takes the newspaper in hand, completely confused at Granger's statement. A light bulb finally goes off in her head when she reads the headline aloud, "Eight reported assaults nationwide related; Victim 8 a cop. How the hell did they know about the assaults?"

"What I want to know is why they list the anonymous cop to have ties to the government, possibly receiving special treatment, and was actually attacked two months ago! How did this information get out and why was I the last to find out?"

"Owen, we only just found out," Hetty exclaims innocently. "You were going to be told when the time came. The last two days-"

"Two days? You knew about this for two entire days? When were you going to tell me?" Granger yells. Hetty doesn't back down one bit; she walks up to Granger and eyes him carefully as if he wasn't almost two feet taller than him.

"First, I hope you aren't judging my skills as an operation manager again," Hetty warns, "because I remember that working _so _well in the past, Owen. Second, Mr. Deeks was assaulted two months ago as stated, but chose to keep his assault a secret from this team for reasons unknown. Third, your attention should be focused on how someone got case- related information on one of our own and gave it to the news."

"He's LAPD's problem-"

"No, he never was as you called him- a cop on layaway. You know, Director Vance called me while you were in the air and discussed Mr. Deeks' standing at NCIS. Along with his…..guided resignation, we both agree that Mr. Deeks has been a part of NCIS and will continue do so," Hetty raised an eyebrow, " Do you have a problem with this?"

Granger glances between Callen, Hetty, and the sitting team mates. He realizes that he's in a losing battle and decides the switch subjects. "I sent two agents to the L.A Times to have them hand over a name. I'm assuming that this team has broken every rule book and investigated Deeks' assault. Is he in any kind of danger?"

Kensi turns so that she can face Granger. " We don't know yet."

"Do you have a victim statement from him?"

"No, he's on a ventilator," Sam answers. "and is in a really dark place. We haven't been able to see him."

"So you have no statement from Deeks'? Beside those photos on the board, do you have any other evidence?"

Callen quickly glances over to Hetty at the mention of the evidence. He already knows that the mention of the envelope is off limits from the rest of the team. "Yeah, that's it," he lies, "I got a license plate number from LAPD and a car that Deeks' drove that night and that's it."

While Callen ignores the suspicious look he's receiving from Sam, Granger takes a minute to sort through their options. As much as this team likes to push his buttons and they have pushed his buttons _many many _times, Granger knows that for this team has to do something before going any further in this case.

"Here's what's going to happen- Until I decide that this team can handle investigating one of their own, none of you will be working with this case. Go and see your friend first. Help him cope…hell, all of you cope. For once in your life, act like friends and family of someone who's in the hospital. When that's done, come find me."

And on that note, Granger marched out of the room. Callen looks to Hetty for her thoughts on Granger's demands. As much as she hates to deal with Granger, she knows that the assistant director has a point. She gives him a nod of approval, which Callen takes bitterly. He hates it deeply how much she's right. Hetty looks over to Sam and the SEAL already knows that she's ten steps ahead of him. "Mr. Hanna, why don't you go visit Mr. Deeks first. Sam mutters, "Ok," under his breath, feeling not even close to ready to finally face Deeks.

* * *

In his hospital room, Deeks jolts awake and finds himself covered in sweat.

He fell asleep a few hours ago after his conversation with Nate. Deeks is pretty sure that one of the nurses had to have slipped some kind of drug into the IV because he doesn't remember much after Nate had walked out the door. It's either that or he must have randomly passed out- both options are equally likely.

_What time is it?_ Deeks scans the room up and down for a clock, a watch or even his cellphone to check the time. When he sees that the only possible thing that could give him the time is the TV, he reaches his hand out to the remote on the stand next to the bed.

_Come on….come on….._Because of the ventilator mask preventing his head from moving more than an inch or so to the left, Deeks blindly reaches his hand out and feels the edge of the remote touch his fingertips. Two failed attempts of trying to pull it towards him pass before Deeks finally pulls the remote off of the stand and into his hand. He then raises the remote and clicks the power button. A local news station appears on the screen where a blonde haired woman is speaking on the headline flashing at the bottom of the screen- 8th Victim ID'd as LAPD cop.

Deeks feels his chest tighten as he thinks in a panic, _Oh God! How did the news find out? I can't do this- I can't do this! No one was supposed to know!_

"You shouldn't be watching that."

Deeks' eyes travel over to his room doorway where he can see Sam. The ex-SEAL tiredly steps into the room and slides the clear door behind him. Sam places a white gift bag on the chair next to the door.

"We brought you movies and a whole lot of other things like," Sam pulls out the picture that his daughter drew of Deeks. The ex-detective leans forward as much as he can to see the picture to be of a short blonde haired man that looks closer to Eric more than anything else.

"They tried," Sam chuckles. "It's the least that I could have them do since you drew them."

_I can't believe Sam's little girls know about this. Sam, I wish that you could hear me right now. Don't worry about me- I'm not sure I deserve it. _

"I know you're tired and don't want to see anyone right now but Granger kicked us off the case and ordered us to come."

_Ordered? I pushed them so far away that coming to see me is a punishment!_

Sam immediately changes his statement. "Sorry, ordered is such a bad word to use. Long story short- Nate had recommended that we not see you until you were up to it, but Granger said no meeting with you- no case. Seeing you would never be an inconvenience, Deeks. You're a brother to me."

_Sam an older brother? Hmph, why do I feel like he's just saying this stuff to make me feel better?_

"I have a few things to say before I go," Sam says as confidently as possible. "First of- I'm so sorry for the way I've been treating you before all this with the jokes and pokes at your skill level. Yes, you are cocky and goofy, but you're also intelligent, cunning, and have the rare ability to charm just about everyone within a 100 mile radius. You are a good man that'll make a brilliant agent when you get out of here. You're also a great friend and I am so sorry that this happened to you."

Deeks suddenly turns his head away from Sam and becomes very still on the bed. Sam cocks his head slightly and calls out, " Hey, look at me."

No response.

"Deeks….I'm serious. Look at me." Sam waits for a response from Deeks and hears nothing. He touches Deeks' shoulder and still doesn't get a response. It isn't until Sam stands up that the agent figures out why Deeks has stopped responding.

Deeks is having a seizure.


	11. Chapter 11

The moment Callen sees Sam step out of Deeks' hospital room, he knows that something is wrong.

Callen is leaning against the wall of the hallway leading up to the Intensive Care Unit. It had been agreed before Sam had left to visit Deeks that Callen would go next, followed by Hetty, Eric, Nell, and if she could handle it- Kensi. While Sam had been in the room, Callen had slowly paced up and down the hallway, trying to plan the perfect speech for Deeks. A part of him felt silly trying to create an inspirational , overly-loving speech for a person. He had now just gotten comfortable into being a part of family and trying to be delicate and precious was still something he was trying to perfect.

However, all of his plans for the speech go out the window at the sight of Sam. His partner quickly walks out of the room and straight to the nurses' station where he frantically tells her something and points back to the room. When two nurses grab their stethoscope and sprint to the room, Callen gets off the wall and jogs over to Sam.

"What the hell is going on?" Callen demands. He doesn't intend to sound harsh on Sam, especially after seeing the rarely shown shell shocked expression on his face. Sam rubs his forehead and in the quietest voice Callen has heard from him in a very long time, he states, " Deeks is seizing."

"He's what?"

"He's seizing!" Sam drops his hands to his side and mutters, "I didn't do anything, G. He just randomly started seizing."

Callen takes a few steps to the right and peers into Deeks' room where he can see the nurses tending to the ex-detective. It's also the first time that he gets his first look at Deeks and what he sees is far worse than he had imagined.

Sam watches Callen stare in complete shock at Deeks for a minute to allow his partner to truly see the repercussions of the assault. Their goofy, chatty, unique teammate and friend is lying in a hospital bed like a wounded animal. When the minute ends, Sam steps close enough to Callen to where no one close by can hear them.

"I want them," Sam says slowly, " I want those bastards here so I can make them pay."

Callen nods in agreement. "The doctors will help Deeks with his seizure. In the meantime, let's go get those SOBs."

* * *

"Eric, I know you've been looking into the case despite Granger's warning not to. Please tell me you got something," Callen states when he and Sam walk into the conference room a few minutes later. Only Eric sits at the conference table as Nate has taken Kensi and Nell to get lunch, Michelle has gone home to pick up her daughters from the half day of school, and Hetty is off with Granger for reasons unknown to the team.

Eric shoots his head up from the laptop in front of him and stammers, "How did you guys know? Wait, that's kind of a stupid question. Anyway, I did find something and if Hetty asks, I wasn't working on the case."

"You're safe," Callen replies tiredly. He makes a quick plan to teach Eric not to fear Granger and Hetty as much in the future. Sam stops in his tracks and keeps a semi-relaxed stance. Eric narrows his eyes at Sam's stance as it doesn't match up on the clearly distraught look on his face. "What happened?" the analyst asks.

Sam looks to Callen, who answers, "Deeks had a seizure. Eric, please tell me you have something, anything at all."

Eric glances down to laptop keyboard and mutters, "A seizure? Like an actual, legit seizure?"

Sam nods and pleads, "Eric…..anything."

"Yeah-uhm-yeah," Eric stammers. He coughs and sits up to compose himself. The thought of Nell being in Deeks' position quickly flashes across his mind and it makes him wary. Eric decides to push through it anyway. "First off, Granger's agents haven't returned yet from the L.A Times so we don't know who did the leak yet. Now for what I found- there are similarities that are showing up in the first seven cases that as far as we know aren't showing up in Deeks'."

"What do you mean?"

Eric stands up and walks over to the most northern part of the conference table where there are eight stacks of case files for each victim. Deeks has the smallest pile, insignificant to the bulging two case folders that come from victim #4. Eric pats the pile of victim #1 and explains, " Victim 1-7 were all dumped off near their homes and had their 911 calls placed within minutes after being dumped. Deeks was dumped 18 miles from his apartment. Also if you listen to his 911 call, the caller claims that Deeks had been lying on the side of the road for a while."

"It's like they were sitting there, watching him suffer for hours," Callen comments, ignoring the rising anger piercing through his veins.

"There's also this anomaly- Victim 6 was attacked on October 16 last year. Does the date sound significant to anyone?" Eric turns his head to see if Callen and Sam want to guess, but the exhausted scowls on their faces show that they aren't in the mood for games.

"Ok, then," Eric turns back around, "October 16 was the day that you guys left the country to go to Dubai. I remember it because it was the day Nell and I went to Arcade- thon and that…was..a good day…"

Ignoring Eric's blushing, Callen crosses his arms as he's not sure where Eric's going with this. "What's your point?"

"Sorry- so I thought it to be coincidental that those two dates collided. Then when Nell and I were looking up the Cadillac's travel information that was in Deeks' LAPD file, I saw a notation that matched another date of an assault, victim number 3's to be exact. "

"And what day was that?"

"The first day that Deeks was officially part of the team. And it goes on and on, guys. Victim 2 was attacked the day after he helped us on that club case for the first time, victim 5 was when he shot the Aryan and was supposedly done with us, and victim 7 was when Deeks started taking NCIS prep classes, which I didn't even know he was taking. It literally seems like every time something positive happens in Deeks' life, an assault happens."

"So this all ties back to him?" Callen exclaims, "That doesn't make any sense- why would these victims be assaulted all over the country every time Deeks did something good?"

Sam pauses to think for a second. "G, it specifically happens every time something positive happens to Deeks at NCIS. What did he do to piss of a group of men to the point that they start attacking other people before finally assaulting him? And these aren't just any guys- they have to military or some kind of agents to be this skilled."

Callen steps away from the table and mutters, "We need to get him off that ventilator. We need his statement."

"There's no way in hell the hospital or Hetty is going to allow that," Sam replies. His Hetty senses suddenly start tingling and he turns around to see Hetty standing patiently behind him. Like Callen and Eric, Sam's heart skips a beat.

"I hope I didn't frighten you, Mr. Hanna," Hetty states.

"No, I'm just a little jumpy. Listen Hetty, Deeks-"

"Had a seizure," Hetty finishes. With a stoic look, she adds says, "The hospital just called to inform me this."

When Hetty doesn't say anything more, Callen takes an uneasy step towards her. He's pretty positive that she's holding onto important information. "Hetty…."

Hetty sighs, somehow still keeping her stoic composure. "Granger's agents have returned from the L.A Times with news about who spilled the assault to the media."

"What did they say? Callen exclaims.

"A man who called himself John Smith met with a Times reporter in a parking garage at night and told him everything that was released to the media. He was very adamant about having the information released as soon as possible and seemed overly excited about it."

"Do we have a physical description?"

"No physical description, but the LA Times employee was able to describe the car- a blue Honda with a broken side mirror and tinted windows in the back seat. Granger has ordered a few outside analysts to look for the Honda and will take in account with the information you found, Mr. Beale," Hetty says, pointing at Eric.

Sam on the other hand knows exactly what Hetty is going to say next and isn't remotely happy about it. " In the meantime, you want us to still stand down."

Hetty nods. "Yes- Mr. Hanna, you should return to Mr. Deeks' room immediately. It's best that he see the same face that was there before he seized also be there when he comes to."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Sam steps back into Deeks' room and finds him laying in the same position that he had been in before. This time, Deeks is much paler than before and has a much more childlike guilt in his eyes.

"Don't scare me like that again, Deeks," Sam says. He once more sits down next to Deeks' bedside and sits forward.

Deeks wants to mouth the words _I'm sorry_, but can't. Instead, he uses one of the few phrases he knows in American Sign Language. It's the sign his mother signed to him right before she had died in the hospital- _I'm sorry._ Deeks closes his fist and rubs it clockwise around his chest and it breaks Sam's already broken heart.

"Don't be sorry, Deeks," Sam chokes up, "We'll catch them and when you get better, I'm going to be a much better brother than I was before."

Deeks' eyes flicker away from Sam and land on something that makes his eyes widen and his heart race out of control. In response, Sam stands up and holds up his hands in front of him as he thinks that Deeks is going to seize again. The ex-detective can see a tall, dark haired man in nursing scrubs standing in the hallway outside the room. Everything about the man reminds Deeks of a person he had prayed to never see or hear from again.

It's one of his attackers.

Sam raises an eyebrow at Deeks' fearful expression. He turns, following Deeks' gaze just in time to see the man in scrubs walk off down the hallway. Sam only has seconds to take in the man's appearance and it doesn't take him long to put two and two together.

"Is that one of them?" Sam asks. Deeks frantically nods and looks up to Sam with fearful eyes.

"Ok. Ok…..look at me, it's going to be ok." Sam takes a step to go after the man, but is stopped when Deeks grabs onto his hand tightly.

"I won't leave, Marty," Sam tells Deeks while pulling out his cell phone. With one hand, he speed dials Callen, who answers on the second ring.

"Sam, did something happen?" Callen asks.

"They're here! Deeks recognized one of the men-"

Sam can hear the sounds of Callen running over the phone. " One of his assailants is here?! Are you sure?"

Sam remembers the look in Deeks' eyes and answers, " He's petrified. It has to be one of them.

"Ok. I'll call security and get the team to you ASAP. Don't-"

"Leave him," Sam finishes. He sits down in the chair while still holding Deeks' hand. "Don't worry, I won't'."

* * *

Twenty five minutes later, the team with Michelle and Nate stand in the hallway in front of Deeks' room. The ex-detective is nodding off in his closed off room. Most of the ICU has been cleared, leaving only essential personal , LAPD officers, and the team.

"Are we sure that Deeks saw this guy? He has a concussion, just suffered a seizure and had a fever last night. Maybe he mistook the guy for one of the assailants." Michelle suggests.

Sam shakes his head. " I have never seen him so scared of anything in my life. It was a dark haired male about my height. Nell, show everyone the camera feeds."

Nell holds up her tablet where everyone can see. The tablet shows a video of the man in scrubs donning a hoodie while walking out of the hospital's laundry entrance. The man keeps his back to the camera as he casually walks out of the entrance, up the ramp, and into the east parking lot. Nell slides to a new video where the man is being seen getting into a blue Honda and driving off.

"The Honda matches the description of the one that was at the meeting between the L.A Times employee and John Smith," Nell states, " They're here. They're stalking him."


	12. Chapter 12

_Two months ago_

_It's raining._

_Deeks is lying on wet, muddy grass on the side of the road. His assailants have just thrown him out of a van onto the side of the road and driven off without a word. He can barely breathe and stay conscious from all the pain searing throughout his body. Within the last 27 hours, Deeks has been beaten and humiliated in ways that he hadn't thought possible. Now that he's lying in the cold rain, all he wants to do is die._

"_Kensi," Deeks gasps. The rain falling on his body reminds him of the many nights he spent running from his car to her apartment in the rain to spend the night laughing and joking around with her while watching Top Model after a hard case. He misses her- he misses her smile, her laugh, even the stuffed cheeks that she gets when chowing down on donuts. Deeks chuckles lightly when he realizes that he also misses Sam and his eye roll, Callen's toying, Eric's nerdiness, Nell and the secret stash of suckers that he and her share, and of course, Hetty just being Hetty. _

"_Sorry," Deeks whispers. He closes his eyes and then suddenly hears the faint sound of ambulance sirens far off in the distance. For a second, Deeks doesn't believe it to be real- in his mind, there's no way he could be rescued. But when a male paramedic appears over him and calls out, "Sir, look at me!" he knows that it's real._

_The last thing he sees before passing out again is a blur of the paramedics face and the dark rain clouds above. _

Present Day

It's raining again and the steady patter of rain reminds Deeks of the night that the ambulance had found him.

He's been sitting in his room alone for half an hour ever since Sam had bolted to meet with the team. Fifteen minutes in, Deeks was beginning to worry- no one was saying anything to him about what had happened to his assailant, what was being done to find him, and if anyone was in danger. When the rain had started a few minutes ago, the ex-detective went from a worry to a full on panic. Besides his worry, he's also exhausted, even though he's been sleeping on and off all morning. And now that his mind is focused on the night he was found, Deeks can't help but fight to stay awake to avoid falling back into another nightmare.

_Got to stay awake, I've got to stay awake…_

Deeks tries to sit up more on the bed, but as always the intubation mask is preventing him from moving his head more than a few inches. He angrily kicks the edge of the bed in frustration and looks up to see his team in the hallway through a small crack in the closed curtains.

_What the hell are they talking about?_

He can see the entire team with Nate and Michelle included, standing in a circle while talking near the nurses' station. Deeks can't make out what any of them are saying, which makes him want to kick himself for not taking Kensi's lip reading lessons more seriously.

_I can't just sit here not knowing anything! Sleeping is out of the question and….and….I can't have this tube in anymore!_

Deeks places his hand on the intubation tube and contemplates what would happen if he pulled it out. Yes, it would hurt like hell and yes, everyone from Hetty to Kensi would kick his ass ten times over for doing it. But for Deeks, the intubation tube and mask is the only thing that's forcing him in a bed, alone in a room with incredibly destructive thoughts on the horizon.

_It's a risk I'm willing to take. _

He inhales deeply, taking note that he might not be able to breathe on his own without it. He also prepares himself to just give it one big yank.

_Again, I'll take a chance. Alright, here I go. Just go for it. Just….just…_

Deeks feels his eyelids slowly close as his train of thought runs off. He shakes his head and opens his eyes again, finding his gaze falling on the small gap through the curtains that he can see the team again. With his hands still on the tube, he counts in his head; _One, two…two…..crap, what comes after two?_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa- what the hell are you doing?"

Deeks is incredibly close to drifting off to sleep when he hears this and it jolts him awake. He finds Callen standing over him with a panicked look on his face. The lead agent places his hands over Deeks and says slowly, "Deeks, let go of the tube."

_No, hell no. _Deeks turns his head away, but Callen places a hand on his cheek and guides his face back towards him.

"The nurses' will sedate or restrain you if you don't let go of the tube, Marty," Callen warns. Deeks lets go of the tube and drops his hands onto the bed sheets. Callen lets out a large sigh and asks, "Why would you do that?"

Deeks looks up to Callen with the saddest pair of eyes that he can do. Callen's face falls in response and the lead agent nods his head in understanding. "Hetty said that you were probably frustrated, confused, and scared and that we should tell you about everything. Not all of us are in agreement on this, but now I can see that you need it. "

_Please do. Please do! _Deeks' eyes light up, a first in days. Callen starts walking around the edge of the bed and towards the door, saying, "I'm not going to tell you, though. I'm going to get Kensi to do it."

Deeks freezes up at the mention of Kensi. He can't believe that he's now noticing that he hasn't seen his partner, the woman that he loves in two days.

"Don't worry, she's been anxious to see you," Callen says as he heads towards the door. He steps out into the hallway and closes the door behind him. Nate and Kensi are standing the closest to the door with the psychologist trying his hardest to convince Kensi to go in.

"Nate, I told you- I can't see him like that," Kensi hisses. She crosses her arms, keeping her gaze away from the door. Callen takes a step towards Kensi and says, "I already told him that you're going in."

"Why would you do that?" Kensi exclaims.

"Do you want to see him, Kensi?" Callen asks in seriousness.

Kensi rubs her thigh and places her hands on her hip. She inhales deeply and replies quietly, "I've wanted to see him for days. It's just that I can't."

"You can and you will," Callen slides open the room door, "Go."

* * *

Inside his hospital room, Deeks is trying to prepare himself to see his partner when she walks in the door.

Kensi slowly closes the door behind her, but doesn't move any further. Deeks sees that she's wearing his sweater, the same one that he purposely left at her apartment just to get her to wear it. She looks just as good as he imagined her to be in it.

"Hi," Kensi finally says with a small wave. With no way to respond, Deeks only stares back, hoping that she'll understand that's he's happy to see her. Kensi forces herself to start walking over to him; however, she stops in her tracks when she sees the scars, bruises, and the bandages all over his body.

"So…um…before I say the things that I want to really, have been dying to say really, I'm going to tell you what's going on with the-your case," Kensi states, "Stay calm for this, ok? If you have another seizure, it's going to kill me."

The ex-detective nods, ready and scared for what he's about to hear.

"All seven of the previous attacks fell on important days for you at NCIS. The Aryan case, our trip to Dubai, the fight club case, when we were undercover as a married couple, our kiss at the Hollywood Hotel- all of them triggered an attack around the country, you kissing me triggering the your assault. Everything is connected to you, Deeks."

_How the hell? WHAT?! _Deeks thinks before he quickly sits up in his bed. He doesn't get very far as his head is yanked back by the mask. Instinctively, Kensi runs to his side and places her hand on his forehead. She soon quickly realizes what she's doing and retracts her hand.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing- I feel like I'm going to break you if I touch you," Kensi chuckles. She forces herself to brush Deeks' bangs from his forehead. "There's also something else. We can't find the guy and because of that we need to move you. And we aren't sure how to do that since we also believe that they are stalking you."

_I'm screwed, _Deeks thinks sadly before closing his eyes. Kensi sits down at the edge of the bed next to him. "Now that you know what's going on, I'm going to tell you what I've wanted to say for a while. I love you."

Deeks opens his eyes and stares at Kensi in disbelief. It's the words he's wanted to hear back for the moment he fell in love with her. He enjoys the sound of it for a moment before a miserable thought comes to mind- _Kensi, please don't be saying this to make me feel better. I hope to hell that you mean it. _

" And because I-"

* * *

Deeks blinks and suddenly finds himself in complete darkness. Kensi is nowhere to be seen; in fact, Deeks can immediately tell that he's no longer in his room. He wants to panic- hell, he needs to panic, but he can't. The only thing that he knows is that he's lying on something that he assumes to be gurney and there's a whirring noise around him that he can't identify.

_This is bad, really bad, _Deeks panics, _What just happened? Where's Kensi? And where am I?_


	13. Chapter 13

**Barner Avenue & Olive View Drive- 3 blocks away from Olive View- UCLA Medical Center**

It's show time.

A man sits in a blue Honda parked a few feet away from the intersection. He's waiting as patiently as possible for his mark- Marty Deeks- to be moved from the hospital. This was confirmed when he had walked through the parking lot and saw the redhead Nell in tears while talking on the phone. He was able to walk close enough to hear two things- Deeks was in critical condition and the feds were moving him by ambulance as soon as possible. It seems too perfect, but the man can't afford to not take the opportunity if it presents itself.

A sudden blare of ambulance sirens fills the air and it puts the man into full alert. He pulls out a pair of binoculars and spots a lone white ambulance coming up the road. The man grins and readies himself to take down the ambulance. He pulls on a blue ski mask, the same one that he had worn when attacking victim #3 and of course, Marty Deeks.

_Wait for it….wait for it….now!_ The man slams his foot on the gas pedal and flies towards the ambulance. At the last second, he turns his car and breaks, allowing his car to screech to a stop. The ambulance screeches to a stop as well, deadest in the middle of the intersection.

The man kicks open the driver's door and aims a small machine gun called an Uzi and starts firing at the hood of the ambulance. The driver, an African American woman, ducks down and stays out of sight. With a smug look on his face, the man drops the Uzi to his side and struts to the back door where he expects to open up and find Marty Deeks.

The man opens the door and sees none other than Callen sitting on a gurney with his Sig pistol aimed right at him. Sam and Nell are on both sides of the gurney with Sam aiming a shotgun and the analyst aiming her Sig.

"Don't even blink," Callen warns. The man holds up the Uzi in one hand and touches his ear with the other. He's donning an earpiece, which is the only way of communication to his leader. The man smiles when he hears a statement over the earpiece that many would consider a game-changer.

"Oh, you got me," the man laughs. He drops the Uzi , pulls out his earpiece, gets on his knees, and places his hand behind his head. Sam jumps out of the ambulance and grabs the man's left arm, quickly cuffing both arms behind his back tightly.

"Ooh, not so tight, Sammie," the man asks. Sam's response is simple- he tightens the cuffs even more and growls, "Don't ever call me that again."

"Just trying to keep conversation," He smirks when Callen slides off the gurney and jumps onto the pavement, "And Callen, what kind of name is G? I think for our friendship I'll call you George. You can call me Jimmy."

Callen punches the man hard across the jaw and yells, " You think this is a joke, don't you?"

"Isn't it?"

Callen punches Jimmy again, this time in the gut. Sam pulls Jimmy to his feet and snarls, "What? No snide comment?"

Jimmy drops his head and coughs to catch his breath. "No, just trying to catch my breath."

"Well good. You can do that from interrogation." Sam pushes Jimmy forwards and orders, "Let's go."

* * *

_Breathe._

_Just….Just….breathe. _

_Wait a minute…._

Deeks reaches up towards his face and feels a plastic oxygen mask instead of the intubation mask. Without the tube, he doesn't feel the tightness in his chest or like he's being gagged. His breathing is raggedy, but Deeks will take the shortness of breath over the intubation tube any day. In a minute, he realizes that the tube being in or out doesn't help the fact that he has no idea where he is. The whirring noise is growing louder as his senses begin to come into focus. Suddenly, an explosion of sound comes from his ears and he finally understands what's been making the whirring noise.

Helicopter blades.

Deeks turns his head and blinks to get his vision back into focus. He can see darkness and the faintest outline of the door. The blades are a small blur off in the background, barely visible in the dark sky. He can also see the U.S Bank Tower lights below them. Things seem so calm to Deeks that he starts to question if he's still dreaming.

His fears all go away when Kensi appears over him. She's wearing aviation headphones, Deeks' jacket, and of slight concern- her NCIS vest. She places a hand on his forehead and yells, "It's ok, Marty! We're flying out of the city to another hospital!"

Deeks nods and then touches Kensi's vest. Kensi looks down and then yells out, "It's for precaution!"

_Precaution?! They can't possibly get me when we're in the air! _Deeks closes his eyes and shakes his head lightly in disbelief. He soon hears, although in the form of a yell, "Deeks, we will be fine. That I promise you."

Deeks reopens his eyes, thinking, _You promise, Kens? I know these guys. This isn't over._

* * *

**Boatshed**

Sam places two hands on the table and stares at the computer screen. He can see the suspect, who sits in the interrogation room with a smug look on his face. The man doesn't appear fathered by the fact that he's under arrest by a federal agency and what it could bring. Sam's bothered by this and also because the man's stance is military.

"Kensi just texted me. Deeks is conscious and they just cleared Los Angeles airspace. They should make it to Redding in Northern California within a few hours," Callen says.

"I don't like this," Sam replies, "We should be getting him out of California, not moving him over a few hundred miles."

"Well, until we know how these guys operate, nowhere is really safe. Redding doesn't have any military bases there so it should give us some sort of an advantage."

"Good," Sam straightens up and looks over to Callen, "Do you want to go in or should I?"

"I'll go…" Callen volunteers. Sam can see that the agent is formulating a plan in his head. "If they've been following Deeks, they've had to been keeping an eye on us as well. And if that's the case-"

"They'll know about my treatment of Deeks-"

"And use it against you. I'll go." Callen walks over to silver dresser sitting near the entrance to the hallway. He pulls out two earpieces from the top drawer and tosses one to Sam.

While placing the other in his own ear, Callen says, "Uzi machine guns are illegal in California. See if Eric can trace where the gum may have come from. Also, try to figure out who he was communicating with via that earpiece when we arrested him."

"Got it," Sam answers, placing his earpiece in. "Don't kill the man…..right now."

Callen chuckles, "If I do, I'll be sure to save you a piece."

He turns and walks down the hallway and into the room quickly. Jimmy looks up and greets Callen in a tone that drives the agent up the wall, "George, it's you! I was beginning to get lonely in here."

To keep the burning anger in check, Callen inhales through his nose before sitting down at the table. He doesn't get a chance to even think of his first question when Jimmy blurts out, "I want to speak to dear ol' Sammie or what did Deeks call her…oh, Kensalina! If not, then maybe Eric or Nell or Henrietta-"

"You think you are so clever!" Callen says, " So impossible to beat, which is odd seeing as we arrested you."

"Oh no, Georgie- that was not an arrest. That was a pity surrender," Jimmy replies. He places his hands behind his head and watches Callen's fuming expression in glee.

"No, you gave up-"

"No, my dear boy, I let you guys win. Did you really think an aging orphan, a retired SEAL, and a damn pixie could have shot me down? Listen closely- . ."

Callen understands and states, "Whoever was on the other end of that earpiece told you to surrender."

Jimmy suddenly leans forward and whispers, "And it worked. For the last fifteen minutes, you've been spending time with me instead of looking for others. My people are ghost- they hide and wait in the shadows until we get what we want. And what we want is Detective Marty Deeks. "

"For what? What did _Special Agent _Deeks do to your boss to piss him off so much?"

Jimmy straightens up and shrugs his shoulders. "That's for you to find out. I have nothing more to say."

**87 miles outside of Los Angeles**

* * *

Deeks has fallen asleep again and his dream isn't good.

Oddly, his dream is filled with complete darkness and the voices of his assailants. He supposes that the blackout is because he has little to no memory of his assailants' faces or because he's blocking out the visual memories as a coping mechanism. Deeks is actually annoyed of his falling asleep every hour or so because he wants to actually help solve this case.

It's a new feeling, fueled by guilt more than anything else. The seven previous victims have become ten times more personal to him- the shame, the depression they all felt- all of it was because of him. And what made things worse is that Deeks had no idea why his assailants were after him. Anyone that he has pissed off in the past has either been dealt with in the courts, through LAPD, or had just left town.

The voices in his dreams suddenly turns into the voices of the victims'- all of them calling out for help, begging for mercy and it makes his stomach churn. He unconsciously curls up into a half ball and tries to distract himself.

_Who truly hates me enough to torture seven people? _Deeks thinks. His mind suddenly flashes through every case from his days as a cop. Five cases come to mind- five cases that involved people who could want him dead, but most likely don't have the resources to do so.

_It's a start, _He tells himself before drifting back into a nightmare, _It's a start. _


	14. Chapter 14

_December 8, 2011_

"_Do you swear to tell the truth, nothing but the truth- so help you God?"_

_Deeks looks up from his hands and into the eyes of District Attorney Erik Patterson. He's sitting in his dusty, wrinkled police uniform in a courtroom at the Central District of California United States District Court. Deeks has no desire to be there as he's testifying on a case he just wants to forget and the two day long testimony is taking him away from his duties at NCIS. _

_The case was a seventeen month long joint agency sting to take down New Mexico's leading sex trafficker Luiz Gyo. LAPD had worked very closely with the FBI because of Gyo's trade line running from Los Angeles to Santé Fe and then into several towns in South America. Deeks' role had been limited to being four undercover cops' contact person for check-ins and emergencies. His role in the case had been so limited that he's completely unaware of why exactly the D.A needs his testimony. _

"_I do," Deeks replies quietly. He quickly glances over to Luiz, who's staring him down from the defense bench. Oddly for Deeks, the man's appearance- gold chain, tattoos on his arms and neck, and his 6'5" bodybuilder frame- gives Deeks a pit in his stomach. _

"_State your name for the record," D.A Patterson requests. Deeks leans forward as close as he can to the microphone and states, "Detective Martin Deeks, undercover division and liaison to NCIS."_

"_Thank you, detective. Now you led the infiltration Mr. Gyo's business, correct?"_

"_Yes."_

"_And can you say on the record what you saw?"_

_Deeks wipes the flashing image of a 12 year old prostitute tied under a car that he had seen when he went to Santé Fe to make the arrest a month ago. "Luiz Gyo was running his prostitution ring where he sold cars with girls as young as twelve inside between South America and the United States. I saw this first hand when I arrived in Santé Fe to make the arrest."_

_D.A Patterson turns to the jury and begins re-explaining his claims for the third time. Deeks doesn't hear a word of it as he's watching Gyo whisper over to his lawyer and then stand up to face Deeks. The D.A doesn't notice that Gyo is up until the man states, "Detective Deeks, I just wan' you know that because you turn on me, I'm goin' be on you like Angel of Death. It's what I tell my girls, see, I tell them that I have a special connection to the Angel who brings death on those who betray me. And dat is a promise."_

* * *

**Present Day**

Deeks' eyes fly open after dreaming about his testimony against Gyo.

He frantically scans the room he's in and finds that he's no longer in the helicopter and now in a large suite bedroom on one of the softest bed he's ever laid on. On an armoire across from the bed, Deeks can see the reflection of himself through the mirror. He looks like hell, a whole lot worse than what he thought he would look like. The warm, tan walls, the sight of tall Californian trees through the window, and Kensi's bag and wallet on the dresser gives Deeks such a calm feeling that he doesn't panic at the sight of his reflection.

_I have to write down what I remember from Gyo. I know he's in prison and we got all of his friends in jail as well, but he does hate my guts with a passion. I have to write this down. _

Deeks spots a blue notebook on the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed. To make it over, he decides to roll onto his side and reach for it the best he can. He extends his arm to the edge of the bed and readies himself- he knows that this has to be one of the top five dumbest things he's ever attempted, right under pulling out his oxygen tube and seeing how fast Hetty's Segway could down the hill behind the OPS center.

_Here goes nothing. _He takes in a shaky breath just before a hand pushes down on his shoulder. Deeks squirms in alarm, only to see that the hand belongs to Callen.

The lead agent is standing at the edge of the bed with one hand on Deeks' shoulder blade and the other on the bed. Callen looks like hell as well- he's wearing the same shirt from the day before, he's sweaty, and on his tenth cup of the strongest black coffee available within a 48 hour period. It's the worst Deeks has seen Callen look since the Brownstein case from the year before where Deeks was finally not the one to go undercover as a bum.

"This is the second time that I've caught you trying to move when you aren't supposed to," Callen states, "I'm not going to have to handcuff you, am I?"

Deeks relaxes his body, thinking, _Sorry for being squirmy, G. And a handcuff joke? Way too soon._

Callen takes his hand off of Deeks' shoulder and sits down on the bed. "Well first off, you are safe and sound. We shouldn't have left you out of the mix, Deeks. It won't happen again. In other news, we are in Redding in Northern California in one of Hetty's friend's safe house. Don't ask."

Finding out about a secret location from Hetty has become so common that Deeks doesn't even blink. _Wasn't going to ask. _

"Secondly, you've been sleeping for almost ten hours and in that period, we've gone over only a quarter of your cases, which was a lot of cases by the way, and came up with nothing. You've done a lot of work with LAPD."

_You don't have the slightest idea of…wait; I have to tell him about the five cases. _Deeks turns his head so that he's facing Callen directly. He's about to do something he hasn't done in about four days- speak.

_Here goes nothing. _"…H…'p…" Deeks' voice comes out as a gasp with a squeak so high that it embarrasses the ex-detective. His eyes widen and he stares at Callen, praying that the older man doesn't laugh or take whatever the hell that just came out of his mouth as something other than words.

"Is something wrong?" Callen exclaims in a panic. Deeks nods his head and moves to a different tactic- he mouths the word paperand presses his lips together on every p sound. It makes him feel like a child, but it's the only option besides rolling off the bed and crawling to the desk that he's got.

After the tenth repetition of the word, Callen finally gets it. "Paper?"

_Finally! _Deeks nods and holds out his hand. Callen turns his head left and right frantically until he spots a notepad on the dresser on the other side of the room. He runs over and grabs the pad and pen next to it and holds it out to Deeks. The detective takes the pad and begins to write down five names and case numbers. Not using his hands for a few days kicks in and Deeks finds his writing to mirror that of a child.

"Luiz Gyo, Marcus Henry, Ivan Brovak, Lukka Haden, and Angelina Vasquez- Whendt," Callen reads slowly, "Is this a list of old enemies with a grudge?"

"Y…..'s." It doesn't come out with a squeak, but Deeks' voice still sounds like a croak. Callen nods and stands up to walk away. He takes a step and then pauses before turning back to Deeks.

"There's one last thing I need to tell you before I go," he says, "Two days ago, you had a seizure, remember? Well, the doctors called about an hour ago with their conclusions about what triggered it. Deeks, you had a psychogenic non-epileptic seizure- it means that your PTSD and emotions most likely triggered the seizure. This means that you have to keep it together, ok?"

_As long as you don't bring any more bad news, we should be ok._

* * *

**Boatshed- Los Angeles**

"Are we going to do this all day, Sammie?"

Sam crosses his arms and tries to think of any of the meditation tricks he can use to ignore the annoying voice from Jimmy. He's been spending the last ten hours in the boatshed with Jimmy, making sure that the suspect stayed on lockdown and got the bare necessities, not including food or sleep. Ten hours of silence in the interrogation room had passed and Jimmy is sitting bright eyed across from Sam.

And if it continues for ten more seconds, Sam might kill the man.

"Let me guess- you're trying the crouching tiger hidden dragon meditation response?" Jimmy jokes. Sam bites the inside of his cheek and starts thinking of the lyrics to his favorite Al Green song.

"Oh, Sammie… why are we doing this? You know that you aren't going to get a word out of me. All I did was give the insignificant pain in the ass what he deserved. You know how it goes in the army for people like Deeks."

Sam immediately loses it. He isn't aware of his actions until he finds himself holding Jimmy against the wall by the man's collar. Jimmy is gasping for air and for once, doesn't have a stupid grin on his face. Uncharacteristically, Sam doesn't let go- he only glares angrily into Jimmy until his cellphone suddenly goes off in his back pocket.

Sam lets go off Jimmy's pocket and ignores the yelp as the man falls in a heap onto the ground. Sam turns away and looks down at his phone to see a list of names sent via text from Callen and a note stating,

_Deeks told me these names. See if Jimmy knows who they are- G._

"Luiz Gyo, Marcus Henry, Ivan Brovak, Lukka Haden, and Angelina Vasquez- Whendt- do any of those sound familiar?" Sam asks without turning to face Jimmy. The suspect coughs again for air and then croaks, "Of course. You didn't think we hadn't done our homework on Deeks, did you?"

"Just answer the damn question."

Jimmy looks to the ceiling with a fake pensive look on his face. He takes delight in Sam's obvious annoyance before finally stating, "Each of those men and woman have a dirty, dirty beef with Detective Deeks. I wonder if anyone of them is in the business for nationwide assaults….."

"You know Deeks so well, as you claim. You don't seem interested in any of those five so I'm assuming that I can cross them off the list," Sam states as he texts Callen back to say the same.

"Thought I'd save you the trouble. Plus I don't do very well if the attention isn't 100% on me."

"I figured…." Sam replies while he continues to text. Jimmy narrows his eyes at the uninterested agent and then asks, "So you texting your partner about _Special….Agent….Deeks?_ Are you assuring him that the news of _Special….Agent….Deeks'…_new upgrade won't be a problem?_"_

"Why are you repeating-"Sam freezes when his mind finally wraps around Jimmy's words. It's an important detail of the case that the team had somehow forgotten in the chaos of moving Deeks around and Jimmy. It's so important that Sam has to run out of the room to contact Hetty and ignore Jimmy's methodical laughing in the background.

Every time Deeks had accomplished something with NCIS, an attack around the country had been triggered.

And with Deeks now being considered an agent, there's a chance of another attack.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry, it's a short chapter! Just moved 2000 miles by myself and things are a little chaotic.**

* * *

**OPS Center**

Something's happened.

Gasps and screams of shock and panic echo throughout the OPS center. The building isn't actively being attacked and there isn't a natural disaster ravaging Los Angeles. The bullpen and coffee rooms are empty, the gym and shooting ranges have been deserted- everyone is standing at the north end of the building along with dozens of bystanders, staring at the sight outside.

Hetty sits on the bench inside of the entrance of the OPS center. She's holding a cellphone in her hand and a personal file in the other. Her eyes are closed as she takes in deep breaths. The personal file case is because of the sight that has every agent and staff outside of the building. The cellphone is because of her need to contact Callen in Redding.

Two hours ago, Sam had contacted her about the high possibility of a 9th attack. Callen and Kensi had been told to stay on complete lockdown with Deeks, Sam had been told to bring Jimmy into another secure location, and LAPD, FBI, and as many state local law enforcement agencies as possible were alerted about the possible attack. Hetty had privately prayed that there wouldn't be any type of attack or assault for at least a day to give them time to prepare.

Unfortunately, it only took two hours.

And unlike the other assaults, it was brought to the front door of NCIS.

* * *

**Redding, California**

"Deeks, what are you doing?"

Kensi whips her head around to see Deeks standing in the kitchen doorway on shaky feet. She and Callen are sitting around the large kitchen table, staring at a large map of the United States. The cities where the other attacks occurred have been marked with pins. Also on the map is a larger printout of the state of California where every area where Deeks had done a case is marked. Both had been working continuously through Deeks' old cases for any clues when unexpectedly Callen had found Deeks standing in the hallway.

"Deeks, what the hell?" Kensi exclaims. She slides her crossed legs off the chair and sprints over to him. Her partner places his hand against the closest wall and whispers, "…'Have…. get up. Can't sit."

"Seriously Deeks, you want me to handcuff you, don't you?" Callen says. Kensi shakes her head at him and turns back to Deeks. "Go back to bed," she states.

"Can't, Kens-"

Kensi puts her arm around his back and looks him straight in the eye. "Go to bed, you need your rest. You can barely stand and don't you dare say that it's not true!"

Deeks feels his knees shake a little and he nods. "I hurt…..Kens…..I can't sit alone…"

"Next time just call me," Kensi replies with a shake of the head and a smirk. She places a hand on his shoulder to get him to follow her, but is stopped when Deeks' eyes narrow at the sight of Callen. In the midst of their argument, Callen has received a text and is now staring at the screen with complete disbelief. Deeks knows that look- it's the panicked expression that Callen reserves for true chaos.

Kensi turns her head back to Callen and cocks her head. "What is it?"

It takes Callen a minute to pull his gaze away from what he sees on his cell phone screen. He looks up, blinks to get himself back in focus, and unexpectedly stammers, "Kensi, can I talk to you in private please?"

Before Kensi can even answer, Deeks tightens the grip he has around her waist. Sending a challenging look to Callen, he states, "I know …..look on ….face. Something's happened…. me."

"Yes, it does have to do with you," Callen answers. He looks away to lick his lips and scratch his head before adding, "And I know that I said that I wouldn't leave you out of the loop, but I just need to talk to Kensi about something in private. Please."

Deeks knows that Callen is referring back to his seizure in the hospital. A million thoughts of panic fly throughout his head and he suddenly gets the same sick feeling that he had before his seizure. He inhales through his nose the best he can and tries his hardest to keep a calm expression on his face. Callen looks between him and Kensi and orders, "Deeks, leave now."

Kensi swallows hard and decides to do the only thing that she knows that will get Deeks to do anything- she kisses him. It's a light kiss that packs enough emotions to say _I love you and I need you to stand down. _Deeks nods in response quietly and mumbles, "Ok," before walking off. When the door to the bedroom closes and Deeks is out of sight, Kensi turns to Callen and snaps, "This better be life altering, game changing news."

"Hetty just sent this to me," Callen says, extending out the cellphone in hand. "Someone took a man, beat him to the death, and hung him from the roof by the neck."

"Someone did what?" Kensi exclaims. She takes the cellphone in hand and gasps at the sight of the picture. "Is this related to Deeks? And what's dangling from his neck?"

Callen touches the screen with two fingers and zooms into the shot of a man's chest. They can both see the faint image of a NCIS badge dangling from a chain along with a white piece of paper with the number 9 written on it. He bites the inside of his cheek and says steadily, "Sam was right about there being another attack on the horizon with Deeks being considered an agent. Those sons of bitches brought the fight to our front door."

"We need to call Hetty and head back to LA!"

"No, _I_ will call Hetty and try to get the rest of the story. You need to stay with Deeks here in Redding. If we try to go back to Los Angeles, he will know something is up. Kensi, we cannot tell him anything. Can you imagine what he'll feel like when we add that not only did seven people get brutally attacked because of him that there's now a dead body to add to the mix? He is weak and I don't think he can handle having another seizure."

"Ok." Kensi turns and walks down the hallway without a word. Callen takes the cellphone in hand and dials Hetty. As always, she answers on the first ring, "Mr. Callen, I was beginning to wonder what took so long for you to call."

Callen scratches his head again and shrugs. "It's been only five minutes, Hetty. I need a minute to get Deeks and soon Kensi out of the room."

"Well, I guess the less people right now the better," Hetty states. "The man hanging from the roof of the OPS center is Special Agent James Madison. He was the head of a tri-agency task force going after Ni Ya Loo, an arms dealer in the Pacific."

"What agencies were in the task force?"

"NCIS, the Marine Corps, and because it involved the death of a Los Angeles alderman, LAPD. This happened in 1985 and ended a year after."

Callen sighs in annoyance. "What does this have to with Deeks?"

"Mr. Deeks is a man of secrets, Mr. Callen. His relationship with James Madison is his story to tell."

Callen looks over his shoulder to see the bedroom door open. He sees Kensi sitting at the edge of the bed next to Deeks. He swallows hard and thinks, _It may not be a story that he can handle telling. _


	16. Chapter 16

Once more, Callen can't get himself to move.

_I can't ask Deeks. Not when he's in his state. _He curses under his breath at Hetty's tone that made it seem like it's such an easy task. _Yeah, I'll just go up to Deeks, ask him about a possible big secret, and then watch him seize in response. Yes, Hetty, easy as pie. Oh, should I mention the dead body too?_

Callen pushes himself off the wall and stands straight up in the hallway. He decides to quickly run through everything in the case as a hope that some super breakthrough will come and he won't have to ask Deeks about Madison.

_Wishful thinking, but it won't happen. Ok, 9 attacks, all related to important events in Deeks' career at NCIS, most likely military-bred assailants, we have one suspect, and our focus victim is in such a fragile state we can't ask him any questions. _Callen shakes his head in disappointment when a realization hits- he can't wait any longer for a witness statement that could possibly identify why Madison was targeted, who Jimmy really is, and a possible motive for the attacks.

He has to go against everything he just told Kensi and interview Deeks, starting with his relationship to Madison.

Totally lost in his thoughts, Callen doesn't realize that he's walked back to Deeks' room until he's standing inches away from the doorway and he can hear the faint voice of Kensi talking to Deeks. Her voice is melodic and gentle, which is something Callen hasn't heard from her ever in four years.

"That was my first experience with a Barbie doll. I was scared to tell my dad that I wanted the Military Barbie doll that they were selling that year. When I finally did, he was happy to get it for me. And before you say anything, I was and still am a tomboy- it was just nice to love something a little girly."

"Kens?"

"Yeah?"

"Why…..tell me…story?"

"I don't know- it just popped into my head."

"Stupid story….sorry."

"Ah, someone's a little snippy. Callen, is that you standing outside the room?"

Callen shakes himself out of his thoughts and steps into the room. With his hand in his pocket, Callen asks Deeks, "How are you feeling?"

Deeks narrows his eyes at Callen's antsy, nervous body movement. "What's wrong?"

Callen exchanges a warning look with Kensi before he blurts out, "Do you know a James Madison?"

Kensi's eyes widen and she sits straight up in bed. Deeks glances between Kensi and his hands before muttering, "Don't know. Why?"

"He was a NCIS agent that died….a few months ago from…natural causes. I just wanted to see if you knew anything about him," Callen lies, "Nothing?"

Deeks closes his eyes and doesn't respond. His hand soon travels to his chest while his lungs are burning to where it's beginning to cause him to wheeze. Kensi gently guides Deeks' shoulders back down onto the pillow and says, "Don't worry about it, Deeks. It's just some paperwork that Callen wanted to catch up on, right Callen?"

Callen backs down from Kensi's murderous glare. "Of course. Kens, a quick word?"

"Fine," Kensi turns to Deeks and says, "You need to rest while we're gone. If you aren't when I come back, I will shoot you."

She walks out of the room and finds Callen pacing back and forth a few steps and rubbing his forehead in frustration. Callen can already see the fire in her eyes and prepares himself for an argument.

"What the hell, Callen? We tread lightly, remember?" Kensi whispers harshly.

"I know- it's just that we can't wait anymore for a statement. It's been two months already," Callen responds a little louder, "Hetty said that his relationship to Madison was his story to tell. If Deeks starts wheezing every time I bring up a name, we're in trouble. I don't see any other options."

"Yes, there is," Kensi walks into the kitchen and grabs her laptop, "Let's call home."

**OPS Center Coffee Room**

Eric sits on the coffee room table with his computer in his lap. His eyes are locked on the room door as he anxiously waits for anyone to walk through the door. He's praying that it's Nell or Hetty coming to give them the go ahead to leave the OPS center. The dead body currently being examined, poked, and prodded on the front steps makes Eric believe that someone on the inside might be on the side of those men who are after Deeks. Eric could honestly go into a rant about how he's always suspected an insider at NCIS, but that's for another time…..possibly tomorrow.

"Eric, are you in there?" he hears from the other side of the door. Nell pushes the door open and steps into the room with a soft expression on her face. In the past few days, their relationship had become fragile as both had privately acknowledged their feelings for each other. Seeing what Kensi has been going through is a scary reminder that it could happen to them.

"I'm here," Eric calls out. He closes his laptop and sees an unrecognizable file in Nell's hand. "What's "that?"

"Callen and Kensi have just called to Skype about Madison. Sam will be calling in via Skype in a minute or so," Nell replies. She takes the laptop from Eric without saying a word and quickly opens Skype to call both locations. The first screen to show up on their screen is Sam, standing alone in the boatshed. He looks like hell from spending the last 24 hours with Jimmy. The second screen is Callen and Kensi, who are sitting on a living room couch. Eric and Nell can see that Callen is focused and Kensi seems to be a mixture of anger and worry.

"Eric, Nell- how's things down there?" Callen asks first. The techs look between each other before Nell answers, "It's bad- news vans from all over the country have been parked outside the building. The building has been made and because of the press, we can't leave without our faces being caught on camera. Was the point of Madison to scare Deeks or to kick us out of the building?"

"It's to break our integrity and credibility," Sam answers, "And it's not to NCIS in general, it's to our office specifically. "Please tell me Deeks knows why Madison was chosen."

"He doesn't know anything about what happened at OPS," Kensi states. She shoots Callen a glare and adds, "And until he can actually say a sentence and not a random words, he won't know. What-what about Jimmy?"

"He's being a pain in the ass that I might kill any second now."

"No, he claims to know everything about Deeks. Ask him about Madison- see what at least Deeks' connection to Madison is."

Sam nods and glances over to the interrogation room. "With pleasure."

**Boatshed**

"Ok, Jimmy, enough with the games," Sam growls when he's finally in the interrogation room with their suspect. Jimmy isn't the least fazed; in fact, a small smile creeps on his face as he asks, "What games? I'm not playing any sort of games- I'm just watching NCIS piss all over themselves."

"Who is Madison to Deeks?"

"Special Agent James Madison came across a drunken man beating his six year old son in 1985. Madison interrupted the fight and handed the boy over to social services. That same boy ended up shooting his father when he was 11 years old. It's….wait for it….Martin Deeks. The best part of the story is that Deeks doesn't remember him, at least that's what he claimed when we held his head in a freezing bowl of ice water…"

Sam takes a second to process the story. After a minute, he narrows his eyes and growls, "Deeks has no memory of Madison, right? This means that Madison's murder was just for the hell of it! You took someone who Deeks owes his life to and flaunted him not remembering it in his face!"

Jimmy leans back in his chair and laughs aloud. "Finally! I was beginning to wonder how incapable this organization really was."

Sam shakes his head. "So this is what it's going to be like? You kill a person with even the minutest relation to Deeks while we run in circles?"

"Well, yeah," Jimmy pauses and then adds, "However, I feel that I should at least give you idiots a hint, a gold mine in other terms."

Sam feels his heart skip a beat because he's half excited at the prospect of a hint and half worried that this will be a trap. "What is it?"

"I'd like to speak to Marty right now. I want you to call him on your cellphone at this moment- you can't walk out of this room or text anyone else. In return, I will give you the name of the mastermind behind all of this. And before you get all excited, you won't ever be able to find them."

Sam doesn't even have to think of a response; he immediately responds, "No."

"Not even a thought at why? Fine- I'll up the ante. We're ten steps ahead of your team, Sammie. We already know how this is going to end, how much blood will be spent, and how dear old Marty is going to die. If you get me a phone call with Deeks within the next five minutes, I will tell you who is next on our hit list and trust me, if this person dies, I guarantee that Marty will want to die."


	17. Chapter 17

**Six months ago- Boatshed**

_"Damn," Deeks mutters as he leans back against the silver conference table with his empty brown mug in hand. He's standing with Sam in the main room of the boatshed on a cool Friday night in the midst of a long, tiring case. Four Marines have been accused of drowning young Petty Officers throughout the Los Angeles area and with it having Naval ties and the terrible publicity that it's drawing, the case has fallen into the team's lap. _

_Both Sam and Deeks are currently watching Callen interrogate the man the team believes to be the second in command of the group- Frederick Michaels. The 6'5'' muscular Marine sits across from Callen in the interrogation room and tells his side of the story to Callen while Sam and Deeks watch through the cameras. Both men know the game plan running through Callen's head- play the nice, empathetic cop and then try to get Michaels to go against the unnamed ring leader to help take the group of four down. _

_Deeks listens intently as Callen finally offers up the deal to Michaels. The Marine freezes and then shakes his head, flat out refusing to go against the same Marine that he went on two tours with in the Middle East. The loyalty is comforting to Deeks and it makes him wonder if the same loyalty he sees Sam give to Callen would go for them. _

"_Would you do that for me?" Deeks earnestly asks Sam. Sam, who's spent the entire time fuming in disgust at the Marine in the interrogation room, snaps in sarcasm, "No, Deeks, I wouldn't do that for you." The sarcasm isn't intentional on Sam's behalf; it's out of exhaustion and anger towards the Marine. Deep down, he knows that he would protect Deeks from anything in a heartbeat, something that he assumes that Deeks would know. _

_However, when Deeks mumbles something about getting a drink and walks away, Sam catches a glimpse of the younger man's expression. The sadness on Deeks' face gives Sam a powerful hit of guilt about every interaction he's ever had with Deeks- Sam isn't so sure at the moment if the detective knows what he's just said isn't true._

* * *

**Present Day- Boatshed**

"Three minutes, Agent Hanna."

Sam jumps back into reality and narrows his eyes in deep anger and suspicion at Jimmy. Two minutes of silence has passed and the sadistic Jimmy has suddenly gone from irritating to deeply serious. To Sam, it could mean a pleather of things that couldn't be analyzed in the three minutes he has left. All Sam knows is that he has a hell of a decision to make, a guilty conscious, and three minutes to decide.

"You sick bastard….you sick bastard…you can't make me hand you someone who's emotionally damaged," Sam growls angrily. Jimmy's non-flinching or even blinking in response sends a chill down Sam's back. The scrawny man that's about Callen's height can't _not_ be intimated by the 6'3" SEAL, especially a homicidally pissed one with muscles and a gun he's been tempted to use for the past 24 hours.

"I'm not having you hand him over to me," Jimmy replies calmly, "I'm just asking for a little chat. However, I do understand your concern. Words can be pretty powerful, especially mine. Speaking of his emotional state, I wonder how he'd take the loss of someone close to him being technically his fault."

"It'd be my fault, not his."

"You sure about that?"

Sam's puzzled by this question. He believes that it has to be Kensi, the love of Deeks' life. It's the obvious, easiest way to break Deeks. _But these guys don't do easy or Deeks would already be dead. He has no family, except for the team. Maybe Hetty?_

"Sam, Sam, Sammie, my good man. You do realize time is not of the essence for you?" Jimmy says in his usual chipper tone. Sam rolls his eyes, not the least bit pleased that annoying Jimmy is back.

"Deeks is not a toy-"

Jimmy smirks. "If this was so easy for you, if Deeks wasn't a toy that big brother Sam could use, you'd already have said no. But gee-whiz, you can't pull yourself to say no, can you?"

"This isn't easy-"Sam stops when he's figured out why Jimmy had jumped back into his teasing. He's just given Sam the answer to who's the next potential victim.

_Big brother Sam. _

It's him.

* * *

**Redding, California**

Kensi is carefully watching her boyfriend/ partner restlessly sleep when a sudden ping in her gut tells her that all hell is about to break loose.

She's thankful for the heads up when Callen suddenly walks into the room, looking as if he's just heard the worst news of his life. When Callen's gaze falls directly onto the restless ex-detective, Kensi sits up and whispers, "What happened?"

Callen's hand shakes as he points to Deeks and responds hoarsely "Wake him."

Kensi quickly glances over to Deeks, who is balled up in the middle of the bed shaking as he sleeps. "Callen-"

"Wake him up," Callen repeats, anxiously shifting his weight between his feet. He doesn't wait more than a few seconds before placing the cellphone in his hand on the edge of the bed and calls out, "Sam, I put you on speakerphone. Tell Kensi what you just told me."

_How long has he been on the phone? _Kensi raises an eyebrow just as she hears timidly from Sam, "Jimmy wants to speak to Deeks and he'll give up the leader of the group and the name of the next victim if we allow him to. And we have one minute to decide."

Kensi looks up to see Callen give her a slight nod to follow through. She can understand in just the one look, _Sam's in some kind of trouble. He never sounds like that and has no reason to call us back after five minutes. _The idea of Deeks speaking with one of his attacker is vile enough; hearing the heavy, abnormal wheezing coming from Deeks as he sleeps reminds Kensi that what they're about to do is at least in the top three things the team has ever done to a victim.

"He's sleeping, Sam, but I'll wake him right up," Kensi calls out to the phone. She turns and reaches over Deeks' trembling body to give him a slight tap on the shoulder. He immediately comes to with a jolt, but only opens one eye. Kensi quickly takes one of his hands and squeezes it, hoping that he's conscious enough to understand the panic and severity of what's about to happen. "Someone has to talk to you right now, Marty."

Deeks doesn't even blink in response. He's so groggy and out of it from the fever that he can't comprehend half of what Kensi has said. He gets somewhat of an idea when he sees Callen slowly scoot the cellphone on the edge of the bed towards him and then back away as if the phone was diseased.

"Hello?" Deeks calls out.

"You sound like hell, Marty. A hell of a lot worse than what I remembered you to sound like."

Deeks' blue eyes widen as he panics, _I know that voice from my assault! Who is it?_

_Mr. Liquor? No._

_Sadist with a hot screwdriver? No._

_Sadist with the whip? No._

_Pyromaniac? Oh my god- it's the pyromaniac that tried to light me on fire. _

"Marty, Marty, Marty- are you listening to me?"

"Yes….why are you…with Sam? How?"

"First off call me Jimmy," the caller says, "A quick hello to Kensalina. I have to say it was so humorous watching poor little Marty being dumped at the Hollywood Hotel. But sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself- I just wanted to see how you were doing. Gosh, I just wish I could see the burns all over your body."

Jimmy laughs and it makes Deeks shutter. It takes everything in him to not pass out when he asks in the strongest sentence he's been able to say since the intubation tube was taken out, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I can, Marty. Do you remember what I had beaten into the thick skull of yours?"

_How could I forget? _"Born weak…always will be weak."

"And that weakness will kill you, Marty. Your friends are going to be killed and innocent people will be killed, all because of you're weak. Seeing your little girlfriend- I think I'll beat her to death-"

There's something that clicks in Deeks- anger, a protectiveness towards Kensi, or even delirium from the fever. Whatever it is, it causes him to pull the phone close and growl, "Screw you," before pushing the phone off the bed. It's the best he can do in his feverish state at ending the phone call. He still feels like he's about to pass out so he looks up to Callen and Kensi and mutters, "..remember him to be a pyromaniac. Did I do well?"

Callen knows that they need to focus on Sam right now, but he gives Deeks a proud smile. "You did great, Marty."


	18. Chapter 18

**Boatshed**

"I gave you what you wanted, Jimmy. Now give me a name."

Jimmy's eyes travel from the phone up to Sam before answering slyly, "A name? I don't know what you mean."

Sam wants to kick himself for expecting even the slightest bit of cooperation from Jimmy. Remembering the state Deeks was in the last time he saw him, Sam thinks, _If this wasn't worth it, I will kill this man. _"So all of this was for nothing- why did you even want to speak to Deeks in the first place?"

"A little birdie from the hospital texted me that the detective doesn't handle bad news very well," Jimmy states as it was a minor thing. "I just wanted to test that theory and see how desperate this team really is. I mean, come on- having a very traumatized victim speak with his attacker? That's low, even with your history, Sam."

_This idiot is right. We are desperate. _Sam sighs loudly and then asks quietly, "You aren't going to give me a name, are you?"

"After I gave you a warning about who the next victim will be?" Jimmy leans forwards and whispers, "It's you, by the way. I know you guys can be a little slow sometimes. You fell for an easy trick, Sammie. I took away the element of surprise for you- that's enough."

Annoyed, Sam decides that he's had enough. He stands up, places a hand on the table, and states in an alarmingly calm voice, "We're done, Jimmy. I'm done playing games."

"Don't hate the player, hate the game."

_Yeah, a damn game where lives are on the line and the opponents are ten steps ahead of you…..wait a minute _. Sam takes a step back and cocks his head in disbelief when it clicksthat Jimmy's words are right.

"You said that we had a history of being slow on things," Sam says slowly while still mulling over his realization, " All four of us change our schedules daily to keep creeps like you from knowing our schedule. On top of that, you let us arrest you because I think you knew that we'd take you to the boatshed and that Deeks isn't anywhere near Los Angeles because protocol for extreme situations like this calls for evacuation!"

Jimmy's relaxed expression slowly disappears as he listens to Sam. The SEAL maliciously smiles back at him and decides to continue, " You know that Deeks was taken from the hospital in near critical condition. You'd also know that if Deeks had a medical issue flare up like a seizure, we'd take him back to the same hospital or a major one nearby."

"Stop it-"

"And since I'm betting that you knew where the boatshed was beforehand, your incessant, over-the-top rambling would distract whoever stayed with you, in this case me, from ruin your planning of your next move. And I think your next move is some kind of trap, which I think is somewhere in the boatshed."

Jimmy scoffs. "And how exactly would we pull that off? I'm not that loud-"

Sam walks around the edge of the table and whispers, "You'd be able to get into this building because someone in your group in ex-NCIS."

Jimmy's face falls and Sam knows that he has him in the bag. He pulls the Sig out of the waist of his jeans and stands up before grabbing Jimmy the shoulder. He pushes the man towards the interrogation room door and demands, "Open it."

Jimmy smirks and faces the door. All the Navy training focused on observation kicks in for Sam and he catches a quick, nervous swallow from Jimmy. It's all Sam needs to know that his theory is true.

"What's the trap? What's out there?" Sam roars. He presses the Sig gun muzzle against Jimmy's temple. "I know that you don't want to die right now, Jimmy. You'd hate to miss how this would all play out."

Jimmy scoffs and turns his head towards Sam. "Something enough to burn you, me, and your pretty little boatshed to the ground."

* * *

**Redding, California**

"Deeks?"

Deeks look over to the doorway to see Callen. About an hour and a half has passed since the phone call with Jimmy which involved Deeks has spent alone in his room. Kensi's been asleep on the couch in the living room and Callen had been trying to get himself to rest when Deeks had called for him.

"I can give you a statement now- I'm up to it," Deeks says with a large sigh. It's a huge lie, but based on the cockiness of Jimmy on the phone, things could get worse if the team didn't have some kind of clue what they are up against.

"Are you sure? Let's not push it," Callen replies. He sits down at the edge of the bed near Deeks and reaches for the notepad in the bedside table. He already knows that Deeks will fight and push himself through it, regardless of what the lead agent thought.

"No, I can handle it. Where do you want to start?"

Callen also reaches forward for a pen. "Start from the warehouse seeing as we already know how you were kidnapped."

Deeks raises an eyebrow while ignoring the sudden burning in his chest. "Why would you know the details already? I haven't told anyone."

"They recorded it. That's what was in the envelope found on your car," Callen replies. He quickly adds, "I'm sorry."

"Makes sense," Deeks sadly whispers. He looks away and mutters, "Don't be surprised if more video comes. I'm pretty sure that they had taken more video when I was in the warehouse."

"Is that where you woke up?"

Deeks shifts his weight and lies back onto the large pillow propped behind his head. He can see Callen scribbling down notes on his notepad, but still manages to keep the majority of his gaze on him. When Callen stops writing, Deeks continues, "I woke up tied to a chair and was surrounded by about eleven- twelve or so men, I think. All buff, masked, and with some kind of stink that I'm never going to get out of my nose."

Callen nods and adds a few more notes to the notepad. "Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"Yeah," Deeks chokes up and looks away from Callen to pull himself together. He wants to vomit, cry, and sleep so bad, but Jimmy's voice is echoing through his head," _You were born weak and you will always be weak,"_ and Deeks can't stop thinking that it's true.

"Deeks? You know what-let's stop," Callen states. There's no reaction from the ex-detective so Callen touches his arm to snap him out of the pale, petrified state on Deeks' face. It takes a minute for Deeks to drift back to reality and unintentionally twitch when he finally feels Callen's hand on his arm.

"I'm ok- I'm ok," Deeks repeats. He can tell that Callen isn't buying it so he says, "There's something from that day I just remembered." It's a complete lie- the memory has been sitting in Deeks' mind for the past two days, constantly stirring up the worse memory of his assault. The least traumatic part of the memory is the smell of the only men who hadn't spent a chunk of time torturing him- vomit, urine, and tar.

" One of….them said _when we do finally kill ya, say hello to Ryan for me. He and all the other bastards on Orion are the one you can thank for this. _I don't know what he's talking about."

"That's ok- that's why we have Eric and Nell, remember? They'll look into it. In the meantime, you'll rest….are you sure that you're ok? People usually don't bounce back after talking with one of their kidnappers."

"Scout's honor," Deeks lies as his head is throbbing along with his chest, "I'm ok."

"Hey, Callen," both men suddenly hear from the hallway. It's Kensi with her phone in hand and such bad bed head that it makes Callen smile.

"Don't say a word about my hair," Kensi tells both men, "Anyway, Hetty wants us on the webcam immediately. Something about a bomb threat and Sam."

"Alright, I'm coming," Callen answers. He stands up to see Kensi eyeing both men suspiciously. "What's going on," the brunette asks suspiciously.

"We're just talking. Now that you and Deeks are a thing, you don't trust me?" Callen jokes lightly. He stands up and watches a small smile appear on Kensi's face.

"I'm coming," Deeks says suddenly and it causes both agents the look at him in disbelief. He slowly pushes the sheets off of his body. "I can't sit here anymore and I can help. I'm feeling much better."

Kensi nods her head in disagreement. "First, that's not possible. You don't magically heal and second, you need to rest."

"I'm able to rest and still listen," Deeks pleads. He puts on the best Deeks-charmer face that he can and adds, "I'll spend the rest of the day in bed after the Skype session. I promise."

"Fine," Kensi says. She's too worried about the phrase _Sam _and_ bomb threat_ to argue with Deeks. "I'll set up the couch for you."

"Thanks. I'll meet you guys out there in a minute," Deeks says and it gets Kensi and Callen to nod and walk out of the room. As soon as the door closes, Deeks leans over off the edge of the bed and spits blood into the garbage can. He's not even remotely close to being better; in fact, he feels ten times worse. Spitting out blood is minor compared to burning chest pain, the nausea, the dizziness, and everything else that hurts him in.

_I wasn't born weak, _Deeks tells himself as he slides off the bed, _I'll show them that I am not weak. I've lied about my health before, I can do it again. _

Standing on wobbly legs, he slowly starts to make his way to the door, repeating, _No one else is going to die because of me. I'm going to stop this even if it kills me. _


	19. Chapter 19

The two agents and ex-detective prepare themselves for the worst when they all gather in the living room to Skype the OPS center.

A sudden guilt ridden chill runs down the ex-detective's spine the minute the operation room filled with only a stoic Hetty appears on the screen. As if it were planned, Hetty's gaze falls on Deeks first and her expression quickly turns to suspicion. Deeks can only hold his breath and pray that Hetty's first words are about Sam and not about his health. He doesn't have to wait long as Callen gets down to business.

"Kensi said that there's some kind of bomb threat involving Sam. What's going on?" Callen demands.

As calmly as she can, Hetty replies, "Mr. Hanna is currently trapped in the boathouse with our suspect Jimmy due to some kind of explosive device rigged somewhere in the boatshed."

There's a long pause between the two agents and ex-detective before Kensi asks what everyone is thinking, "What do you mean he's trapped? And what bomb?"

"Jimmy has admitted that one of his friends has set a trap to burn down the boatshed. Both he and Sam are in the interrogation room because Jimmy hinted that it might be located against the door or in the hallway."

"How does someone do that?" Deeks asks, his voice sounding raspy. He can feel Kensi glance over to him in concern so he pushes the conversation further, "You have to be authorized by NCIS to even get inside."

"Which brings me to the conclusion that Sam has made- someone in that group has to be ex-NCIS."

Callen takes a step closer to the computer screen out of anger. "He's one of ours? Are you telling me that one of ours is after Deeks?"

Hetty inhales deeply and continues, " Yes. I know that look in your eyes, Mr. Callen. You want to return to Los Angeles to be with your partner and while that is understandable, you are needed in Redding to protect Mr. Deeks. One of ours being in that group is going to make catching them a whole lot harder."

"I can't stay here!" Callen protests, "Kensi can take care of Deeks or it might be safer for him to be at the OPS center-"

"That isn't an option. Mr. Deeks needs to be somewhere safe where he can recover and be protected by people that can be trusted. One agent isn't enough-"

"I can travel," Deeks suddenly interjects, "I can help."

Hetty turns her attention to Deeks and it makes the detective feel like she's scanning him like a robot. "Excuse me?"

"I'm feeling a little better. I want to be involved," Deeks lies and immediately regrets opening his mouth. His response is filled with a little too much energy from someone who's been through the worst two months of his life. _God, I hope they bought that, _he worries.

"I see."

_Damn it. Not a damn thing past Hetty. _Deeks quickly glances over to Kensi, who's calmly staring back at him with the ever slightest hint of suspicion masked in her concern. He's grateful that he knows that Kensi will sit on her suspicion for a little bit before acting on it. Callen, on the other hand, is staring off into space as he's already thinking off a game plan to rescue Sam.

"And I remembered something," Deeks adds, this time softening his voice, " I remember someone saying that I could blame someone named Ryan, some Orion project, and '_the others'_ about the attacks."

The words _Orion_ and _Ryan_ cause a barely noticeable flinch in Hetty. Deeks doesn't catch it, Kensi's too busy glancing between her partner and the screen to notice, but Callen catches it on the fly. "Something you want to share with us, Hetty?"

Hetty's expression immediately darkens and she states harshly, "Mr. Callen, you _will_ stay in Redding with Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye- that's an order, understood?"

Callen's response is so out of character that Deeks doesn't initially believe that it actually happens.

Callen reaches forward and presses the end button on the computer to end the call. It's the biggest act of defiance Callen's ever done, topping the loud argument about the merits of a case that involved a drug dealer, a three car pile-up, and Callen going undercover as a police officer instead of Deeks. Callen's action makes Kensi exclaim, "Did you just hang up on Hetty?"

"We're leaving," Callen states. He closes the laptop and places it in his bag next to the table. When he doesn't say anything more, Kensi calls out anxiously, "Callen?"

"We aren't going to sit here while Sam's in danger and one of our own is out there leading a pack of men out there to kill people and torture Deeks!" Callen snaps. Kensi crosses her arms and takes a step towards him which doesn't seem to have any effect on Callen.

"What about Deeks? You want to drag him into the fire- are you kidding me?" Kensi yells. Behind her, Deeks is quiet, trying his hardest to hold down the desire to vomit all over the floor. Lying flat out to Hetty and Kensi, Callen's acting out, and the thought of returning to Los Angeles isn't sitting well with him.

"If you were in my position, what would you do?" Callen argues back. He holsters his Sig in his waist and shoots a hard glare at Kensi. He's not in the mood for any kind of arguments.

"I would be pissed, but I'd also remember the person who we're supposed to protect!"

"Would you? Would you really?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means- you and Deeks are a thing and it's making you not think straight!"

"Me not thinking straight?! I'm not the one who wants to drag Deeks another couple hundred miles into a situation that we don't know anything about-"

"You know what? Let him decide," Callen says before turning to face Deeks. The ex-detective can't look up to either siding with Callen, pissing off Kensi , and putting all four of their lives in danger or siding with Kensi, angering Callen, and still put all of their lives in danger.

"Marty," Kensi calls out and it makes Deeks cringe. He finally looks up to Kensi and swears that he can actually hear her heart sink. It hurts twice as much because what he's about to say is just as bad, maybe worse, than lying about his health.

"I can handle it, Kens. I'm ok- I can handle it," Deeks lies, "Let's go."

* * *

**Interstate 5 – 400 miles north of Los Angeles**

There's a small humming that Deeks can hear as the dark blue SRX he sits in flies down the empty highway. It's almost midnight now and Deeks is sitting in the backseat while Callen quietly drives and Kensi stares out the window in the passenger seat. The humming is the only thing that seems to keep Deeks sane as the silence, the silence that a knife can't even cut through, is making things very uncomfortable for the seven hour car ride back to Los Angeles.

No one's heard anything from anyone back at the OPS center, which in Deeks' mind, could be seen as a good thing. He's always taken comfort in the phrase _no news is good news_ as it's worked fairly well in the past. It definitely helps as the irritatingly melodic humming either coming from the engine or the radio or wherever is keeping him from falling asleep, waking up and then finding out that all hell did break loose.

The SRX suddenly flies over a bump and the sudden change in motion makes Deeks grimace. Up front, Kensi shakes her head and says, "When we get to LA, you're going back to the hospital."

"Kens-"

Kensi suddenly turns her body to face Deeks. " You aren't ok- you can't be ok after all of this."

"Kens….."

Kensi doesn't stop to catch her breath. She also doesn't notice that a small text message alert rings from Callen's phone and the lead agent reaching over to sneak a quick glance at the screen. "Why are you doing this? Redemption? Atonement?"

_That's a good_- Deeks doesn't get to finish his thought- Callen suddenly slams down on the brake and causes the SRX to screech to a stop. It's pure luck that the vehicle doesn't flip over onto its side or that any of the passengers are seriously injured. Kensi's stopped from her head hitting the dashboard when she instinctively puts both hands out to stop herself, Callen feels a sudden sharp pain in his neck from the whiplash, and Deeks unluckily has his head hit the headrest when he's yanked forwards and back from the force of the vehicle coming to a stop.

"What the hell was that?" Kensi yells. She sees the cellphone in Callen's hand and continues, "What could be so important that you had to stop like that?"

Callen blinks frantically before holding up the cellphone screen towards her with a trembling hand. It's a picture of the waterfront and what appears to be the rubble and ashes of a building ,"Eric just sent me this. It's the boatshed."

Kensi glances over her shoulder quickly to see Deeks' skin suddenly become pale. She knows that she has to ignore the out of control, worried emotions running through her at the moment, especially when there's a question that she has to ask with an answer she's afraid to hear. "The words at the bottom of the screen….what did he write?"

Callen quickly scans the words and then quickly closes his eyes. He mumbles, "It says that they didn't see Sam come out the front door or if he was able to take the interrogation room trap door that leads to the water. There's a chance….that Sam might be dead."


	20. Chapter 20

**Interstate 5 – 400 miles north of Los Angeles**

Callen can't breathe.

In all truths, he _can_ actually breathe, but in very short, staggered breaths. He's standing at the edge of the lone highway road out in the dark. It's been anywhere from five to ten minutes since he's received the text from Eric about the explosion at the boatshed. Five to ten minutes of frantic phone calls back to the OPS center and even more frantic panic attacks when neither Callen nor Kensi can get a hold of anyone in Los Angeles. At this point, Callen has no choice to think that his partner is dead. With the stress of running and lack of sleep, there is no little voice in the back of his head telling him that they can't assume if Sam's dead without confirmation.

So Callen does the only thing he can actually do right now- stand at the edge of the road and try not to lose control.

Kensi is standing about halfway between the SRX and where Callen stands. She can't leave Callen out alone on the road because she doesn't know what the hell is going through his mind. She's trying her hardest not to even think that Sam could be dead even for a second because she knows that if she does, she's done for. Her partner is her biggest concern at the moment because even though Deeks, who's sitting quietly shell shocked in the SRX backseat, claims that he's physically fine, Kensi knows that a lie.

"Callen?" Kensi calls out. Callen's shoulders drop and his head turns ever so slightly to the left. Without looking fully back to face her, Callen mutters, "What?"

"Come back to the car," Kensi suggests. She begins a slow walk over to him and adds, "We need to keep going and get Deeks to safety."

"Why bother?"

The defeat in Callen's voice makes Kensi flinch. There's one answer she can give and it involves actually considering that her good friend, her mentor, and 'brother' could actually be dead. "Because it what Sam would have wanted us to do, dead or alive."

Callen turns his head to Kensi, who's now standing next to him. He slightly shakes his head and glances down the road in the direction that leads to Los Angeles. "You're right. I'm sorry….Kensi, you were right about us staying in Redding as well. We don't know anything about these….these….who the hell hates Deeks this much?"

"Let's get home and ask Hetty, once she's done beating your butt for hanging up on her. "

Callen furrows his eyebrows at the mention of Hetty. " Speaking of Hetty, I think she's hiding something from us. Did you see the way she flinched at the mention of Deeks' memory?"

"No, but-" Kensi unconsciously glances over to the SRX, "I wouldn't be surprised. Everyone seems to be keeping secrets."

"You mean Deeks' health? How is he?"

Kensi starts to walk back towards the SRX with Callen in step with her. "He's been lying from when he left and before I came to check on you, he was just sitting there not saying anything."

"Well, I officially side with you on going to the hospital."

Kensi smirks and then momentarily stops in her steps. She shakes her head and opens her mouth to say something witty, but the sight of Deeks' arm dangling from the open back door makes her freeze. She takes off to the SRX without a word and finds Deeks unconscious in the back seat. She immediately presses two fingers to check for pulse and lets out the biggest sigh of relief when she feels a steady one.

"Is he ok?" Callen calls out as he jogs up to her side. Kensi nods, takes a deep breath, and pulls out her cellphone and dials Nell's number. She doesn't care that Nell hasn't answered the last five calls. As if the heavens had opened, Nell finally answers on the third ring.

"Kensi?"

Kensi puts a hand on her head and cries out, "Is he dead?"

"We don't know, Kens," Nell answers. Callen doesn't waste a breathe when he sees the confused expression on Kensi's face. He takes the phone out of Kensi's hand and says, "Nell, talk to me. Is Sam alive?"

"Again, we don't know, Callen-"

"How could you now know? He's either alive or not!" Callen yells. In the corner of his eye, he can see Kensi shaking Deeks shoulder to try and get him to wake up. He mumbles something incoherent on the third shake before mumbling, "Where's Sam?"

"We're looking, we're looking," Kensi tells him and looks over to Callen for confirmation. Callen focuses back on Nell and states calmer, "I need you to explain to me everything that's going on."

"There's no sign of any bodies in the boatshed- Hetty thought that Sam could have gone through the trap door so she sent LAPD and the FBI searching the waters. It's so dark out that they haven't found anything. So he and Jimmy could be anywhere!" Nell ends in a tearful tone.

"Ok, ok….why couldn't you guys answer the phone?"

"Things are so chaotic right now- there's media outside the OPS center, Granger's on a warpath, Sam's missing, and I'm supposed to release a statement in a press conference! Me! What am I supposed to say?"

"Nell, just take it easy. It's going to be alright- Sam holds the record for swimming and holding his breath. He could be anywhere," Callen says, half believing his own words. There's only so much that the SEAL could do, especially in the water and at night with a very stubborn suspect possibly with him.

Nell's quiet for a few seconds before she coughs loudly to recompose herself. "You're right…..we can't confirm anything until we have a body. I should have known that."

"It's alright. Just keep your cool until we get there….by the way, where's Eric and Hetty?"

There's the faintest sound of a sigh from Nell's end. "Eric is trying to keep the media at bay and I have absolutely no idea where Hetty is. Last I saw her was when _you_ hung up on her. She's pissed."

Callen gives Kensi the nod to start getting Deeks inside of the SRX. "Nell, we're on our way. Keep things together the best you can," he swallows hard as he sees Kensi struggle to help Deeks to sit up, "Just hold on."

* * *

**Boathouse- 4am **

Callen quickly pulls the SRX to slow stop on the pier a few yards away from where the boathouse once stood. He had expected more than the two police dogs, seven LAPD officers, and the rest of the team to be the only ones on the pier. He doesn't have to wait long for an answer as Nell immediately sees them arrive and comes running up to the vehicle full speed.

"This is it?" Callen exclaims when he steps out of the SRX. Nell nods frantically and then steps around the agent to see a better view of Deeks and Kensi in the back seat. Deeks is laying his head in Kensi's lap and allowing his partner to gently rub a rag across his cheek.

"Oh…wow…" Nell gasps.

"Hey, I need you to tell me what's going on," Callen demands. "Why are there so little people out?"

"Because it's too dark for a search party in LAPD's opinion and they think that they're better than us," Nell turns her head and shoots a glare at two officers casually following their police dog, "I'm not even sure some of them are trying."

"Fine- we, we're here so that's at least something," Callen states.

In the backseat, Kensi adds, "You're right. I'll go take Deeks to the hospital and then-"

"No," the ex-detective suddenly mumbles, " I'm not sitting in a hospital while you all are out here searching for Sam. I'm staying until he's found."

"No-"

Deeks lifts his head up and shrinks into a curled ball at the other end of the back seat. "I'm going to be here for this," he whispers with closed eyes, "Just tell me when you find something. I'll be fine."


	21. Chapter 21

He's hearing voices.

Screams, yells, cries from so many voices are swirling around Deeks' head as he lies curled up in the backseat of the SRX. He knows that he's imagining the voices of the seven other victims when they were attacked on wonderful, important days of his life.

A young woman from Illinois crying out from the brutal pain of a whip going across her back.

A retired man who's supposed to be enjoying the years of retirement having to deal with the psychological trauma now in Texas.

And the others.

All of their voices are swirling so rapidly around his mind and he has no idea of what to do to make it stop.

The most prominent voice is Sam's in what Deeks imagines of what his friend sounded like when the boatshed broke into a fire. It' s self- torture and Deeks knows it, but in his mind, he deserves it. If they can't find Sam or end up finding the SEAL's body, it's all on him.

"Callen, you found me…I'm so proud!"

"Shut up!"

"Not so hard on the cuffs. You're abusing me, you know that?"

"Jimmy, I swear to God….get up!"

_Wait, those voices are real._

The first voice he immediately recognizes to be Jimmy- the ex- detective would be able to recognize the callous, sadistically bright voice anywhere. Hearing Jimmy so close makes his heart skip a beat because he's so scared to look him in the face. The last time both men had been face-to-face was when Jimmy was standing in front of the beaten down ex-detective while holding a lighter in one hand and lighter fluid in the other. The second voice is Callen, who sounds as if he's in the middle of wrestling against a bear or in this case, Jimmy. Deeks can hear grunts and growls of annoyance from Callen amongst chuckles from Jimmy.

"Callen, why are you being so rough…well, we are about to kill everything and everyone Marty Deeks loves, which includes you so might as well get it out of your system-"

There's the sound of someone falling to the ground followed by another grunt from Callen. "You know what? Sit down!"

Deeks lifts his head off the car seat and brushes the blonde strands of his hair from over his eyes. There's sunshine now steaming through the top of the windows to where Deeks' legs lay. It takes way more than usual effort to pull himself up into a sitting position on the right back seat. Deeks winces from the light when he tries to get a better view of what's happening outside the SRX.

The first thing he sees is Kensi speaking with two police officers a few feet away on the other side of the SRX. She's holding a map while giving directions and doesn't seem to notice that Deeks is awake. The ex-detective then has his attention drawn straight ahead of the vehicle where he can hear and see Callen and for the first time in months, Jimmy. The pyromaniac is much taller and skinnier than he remembers and has a much more devious smile than what he saw in the dark warehouse.

_My God that's him! _ Deeks pushes the car door open and slides a foot out over the doorframe. Before he realizes what he's doing, Deeks puts out an unsteady foot onto the ground, stumbles sideways, and then falls into a heap near the open car door. It's loud enough to where it catches everyone's attention.

"Deeks." Kensi's at his side in seconds and pulling one of his arms over her neck so that she can help him up.

"Where's Sam?" Deeks mumbles as Kensi pulls him up into a standing position.

"We haven't found him yet. It's only been a few hours since we got here- three or four, I think."

"Marty, it's been too long!" Jimmy calls out before Deeks can ask any more questions. He's in the midst of another struggle with Callen as he continues, "You look lovely since I last saw you-"

"What did you do with Sam?" Deeks yells. He pushes Kensi's hand away and takes a few weak steps towards Jimmy and Callen. When Jimmy's response is only a smirk, Deeks roars, "Answer me!"

Kensi pulls Deeks back towards the SRX the best she can. "We've got this- come back to the car."

"No!" Deeks knows that he's going into a panic attack. His heart is racing out of control, he can barely breathe, and everything around him is beginning to spin. Three or four hours plus the seven hours it took to return to Los Angeles is way too much time for someone to not be lying dead somewhere in a ditch. "Where's Sam?"

Kensi tries to pull Deeks back again and assure him, " We'll handle him. Go back to the car-"

Deeks pushes his partner's arm away again and feels tears forming in his eyes. "Is he dead? Is he? Why are you doing this to me?"

His last comment finally gets a response from Jimmy. He laughs aloud, " Why do you think? You're special, Marty! You think we don't know about NCIS, specifically the LA's office little secrets? Henrietta Lange's got a dirty, dirty secret and believe it or not, it's not the infamous G Callen that's her prize possession, it's you!"

For a minute, the only thing anyone can hear is the gentle waves from the ocean. Deeks' mouth is hanging slightly open, Kensi's gaze is slowly falling to the ground as she tries to process everything, and Callen is so angry that he feels like he's about to snap Jimmy's neck.

"Everyone is so quiet- it's nice," Jimmy says to break the silence. Kensi reacts first and pulls Deeks back to the front of the car. She lowers him down to the ground and pulls out her cellphone to call for an ambulance. In the meantime, Callen calls over the two closest officers and orders, " Take this idiot straight back to LAPD county in his own cell. If he talks, shoot him. If he says something cocky, shoot him. If he says something pertinent to the case, write it down and then shoot him."

The shorter of the two LAPD cops nod and respond, "Yes, sir."

Callen turns to take a glance over to Deeks. The ex- detective is shivering and breathing heavily as Kensi dials 911 and pulls her partner closer to her. It's the fear and uncertainty in Kensi's eyes that inspires Callen's next move. It's another move that's going to put him hirer on Hetty's hit list.

Callen presses a finger against his earpiece and calls out, "Nell, can you hear me?"

"Yes." The redheaded technical analyst is half a mile away, leading a search on a massive children's park. "Did you find anything?"

"Yeah, I need you to find Hetty- now."

* * *

**1 mile north of the boatshed**

_What the-_

_Wha…..what happened?_

Sam Hanna opens his eyes and looks upwards to see nothing but complete darkness. He's just drifted to consciousness after he feels the drop of a mystery liquid touch his forehead. The darkness makes him believe that he's either dead or still unconscious. The last thing he remembers is pulling the trap door up and pushing Jimmy into the water. Another drop of something falls into his ears and Sam's up on all fours, ready to get out of wherever the hell he is.

"Jimmy," Sam mumbles and he begins to feel around for any sign of the suspect. Another drop of liquid hits the back of his head and it makes Sam really ready to go. He tries to sit back onto his knee but hits his head on a cold, moldy surface.

"Son of a bitch," Sam growls while rubbing the back of his head. _Where am I?_


	22. Chapter 22

**White Memorial Medical Center- Los Angeles**

_Draw. Aim. Click._

_Draw. Aim. Click._

Deeks should be sleeping at the moment, but he can't because of the noise of Callen toying with his Sig.

The ex-detective is lying in a large hospital bed in the executive suite at the medical center. He's deeply under the influence of painkillers and a sedative that's making it much easier for him to breathe under his painful, injured ribs and deal with the rest of the pain throughout his body. Being in the hospital under a warm blanket and very powerful drugs is a nice change for the ex-detective, a change that's making him let down a very small part of his guard.

Or at least try to while listening to Callen toy with his gun every five seconds.

_Draw. Aim. Click._

"Callen…" Deeks moans quietly without opening his eyes or bother turning towards the lead agent. Callen stops immediately, places down the gun on the hospital bedside table, and replies quickly, "Are you ok?"

Deeks turns his head slowly where he can face Callen. Before he decides to say anything, Deeks sneaks a peek at Kensi. She's laying with her head on the edge of the bed as she sleeps quietly with a lack of snores coming from her being a miracle within itself. Kensi's been by his side since he had completely lost it at the boatshed.

"Ha, ha, ha," Deeks suddenly laughs softly with a slightly maniacal smile that freaks Callen out a little.

"You ok, Deeks?" Callen asks cautiously. In the past three hours since they had to call an ambulance for Deeks, the ex-detective had gone from hysterics to passing out to more hysterics when waking up in the emergency room where he was sedated. Callen's glad that Deeks is so drugged up that he's completely out of it, but it's also a little unnerving.

"I don't know," Deeks slowly says. His eyes are still closed as he continues on, "I don't feel like I should feel right now. Sam's probably dead, almost a dozen people have been tortured, everyone in my family is hurting and yet I feel nothing."

"It's because you were hysterical and the doctors need you to be calm at all times, remember?"

Deeks puts up a finger and then places it back down. "I don't know if the drugs are…making me feel…this numb…" he whispers before trailing off to sleep. Callen stands up and holsters his weapon before he takes a second to look down at Deeks. Even being considered what others would call 'high', Deeks still has a pained expression on his face.

"It's best that you're numb for this," Callen states softly. He reaches in his pocket when his cell phone begins to vibrate. "If I were you, I know I would," he then answers his phone, "Callen."

It's Eric and by the sound of it, a very frantic one at that. "I have some news."

"Is it Sam?"

"Yes and no. Yes because a walkthrough of the nearby areas found this weird old guy, who claims that he saw some guy that looked like Jimmy in the water swimming with some piece of wood with another man that looked like Sam last night. He didn't ask questions and let Jimmy go on his way. If you were here, you would have just seen that I used air quotes."

Callen narrows his eyes when he thinks back to Jimmy's appearance at the boatshed. "Jimmy looked clear of any injuries when we picked him by the rocks…." Callen concludes, "and Sam would protect Jimmy since he's our only link to Deeks' assailants. In the dark, Jimmy might have been out there with an injured or unconscious Sam and at night in an area that the Coast Guard doesn't really watch, it's a perfect place to try and get rid of someone."

Eric takes a bite out of what Callen assumes to be an Oreo. "So that means Sam has to be alive, right? That's-that's good and oh- I found where Hetty is too! That's two pieces of good news and-and- I'm sorry, I'm just so excited that there's hope."

"No, excited is good, Eric." Callen says, "Excited is great. Text me where Hetty is ASAP- I have a hell of a lot of questions for her."

"Like _where have you been?_"

Callen smirks. "For starters."

* * *

**Los Angeles Department of Public Social Services**

"Where the hell have you been?"

Henrietta Lange doesn't look up when she hears the voice of her lead agent behind her. She's sitting on a small bench outside the building's Department of Archives with a bulging manila envelope next to her. It's been a trying 24 hours for her as she's been quickly and quietly running around Los Angeles to keep the Director and Assistant Director well informed and to keep everything on as Deeks had remembered as _Orion, Ryan, and everyone else on the project' _a _need to know_ thing.

She's worked too hard to protect Deeks to let everything fall apart now.

"Hetty!"

"I heard you the first time, Mr. Callen," Hetty replies. "How is Mr. Deeks?"

"You would know if you were at the hospital, Hetty!" Callen exclaims. His volume draws attention from a nearby secretary and a redhead female security officer at the hallway entrance. Where the hell have you been for the last twelve hours?"

"Fixing the problem."

"Fixing the problem?!" Callen can see the security guard start to curiously walk towards them so he without even looking over his shoulder, he pulls out his badge and flashes it in her direction. He then pockets his badge and adds in a softer, yet still angry voice, "Which problem, Hetty? The one where Sam is missing and could be dead? Or the big glaring one of a group of lunatics after Deeks? And what could require you to go to the Social Services building of all places?"

Hetty knows that the next thing she's about to say is going to set of emotional chain reaction in Callen like she's never seen before. "Stand down, Mr. Callen."

"Stand down?!" Callen's yelling again and he doesn't care, "Are we really doing this again? If anything happens to Deeks, it's on you!"

"IT ALREADY IS!"

Callen closes his mouth in shock at Hetty's outburst. She's shaking and gripping the manila envelope with such power that small rips are beginning to form where her fingers are. Behind them, the security guard has resumed walking towards them, this time with a hand on the gun holstered on her waist.

Hetty puts on her most trusting smile and chuckles softly at the woman. "We're fine, dear. Just a small argument that we'll take outside."

"Fine," Callen starts walking off first and doesn't stop until he's outside. Hetty's right behind him and looks up with an expecting expression when she's facing Callen in front of the doors.

Callen crosses his arms and demands, "Talk. Now."

"Ok, do you know a James Ryan?" Hetty asks while pulling out a black and white picture of a man in an NCIS vest. The man is shown walking in a grassy wooded area with white stained Spanish homes in the background. Callen wants to place the location of the picture to be northern Spain, but there's a bigger question at hand.

"I don't know him. Who is he?"

Hetty pulls out a picture of a small blonde haired boy around the age of four with cuts across his forehead. There's something so familiar about the boy's eyes to Callen that he mutters, "I feel like I know this kid."

"You do," Hetty taps the [photo of the man in the NCIS vest, "This man is a monster and the worst thing to happen to the Los Angeles office. He's responsible for…..…no one in the agency who knows about him ever talks about what he did. He's considered to be the only soul that I've truly lost. I believe he's the reason that all of this is happening. "

"What exactly did this guy do that he has everyone in the agency acts like he doesn't exist? And I still don't understand what it has to do with Deeks."

"Agent Ryan had a son named Micah Ryan Bentley born January 8th, 1979," Hetty pauses and watches the agent slowly try to follow along, "This boy's father did so much harm that I had to hide the boy for his safety."

Callen doesn't like where the conversation is going one bit. He's made a guess about who the boy is and he's praying that he's wrong. "What happened to him?"

"He grew up to become our liaison, Marty Deeks."


End file.
